The New Yorker's Guide to a Lightning-Fast Divorce: Ditching Your Ex Like a Day-Old Bagel
So, you've realized your marriage is about as appealing as lukewarm pastrami on rye. Don't fret, fellow New Yorker! This city runs on hustle, and that applies to splitting up too. Forget drawn-out courtroom battles – we're here to get you from "I do" to "I don't" faster than a rogue pigeon can snatch your fries.
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| How To Get A Quick Divorce In New York |
The Uncontested Route: Splitting Amicably (or at least politely)
Key Ingredient: A Spouse Who Doesn't Want to Wrestle Alligators
This is the express lane of divorce. You and your soon-to-be-ex are on the same page, like two slices of perfect cheesecake. Pro Tip: If you can agree on how to divide the apartment furniture that isn't bolted down, you're golden. In this case, you can:
- DIY Your Divorce: The New York court system offers a DIY uncontested divorce program, perfect for folks who are more "IKEA instruction manual" than "legalese" (https://ww2.nycourts.gov/divorce/divorce_withchildrenunder21.shtml).
- Lawyer Up (But Not for a Brawl): Hiring a lawyer can streamline the process, especially if you have kids or a collection of beanie babies you need to divvy up.
The "Express 60-Day Divorce" - Because Who Wants to Drag This Out?
Attention Upstaters and Those Willing to Travel (Slightly): This option lets you shave months off the process, perfect for those who are itching to update their Tinder profile like yesterday. There are some catches:
Reminder: Save this article to read offline later.
- Gotta Know Where Your Ex Is: No playing detective here. You need to be able to serve them papers.
- Agree on Everything: From the marital mattress to the Mets memorabilia, you and your ex need to be on the same page about who gets what.
Think you qualify? A quick Google search for "Express 60-Day Divorce New York" should get you started.
Important Side Note: This ain't a Game of Thrones Wedding - It Can't Be Undone (Easily)
While a speedy divorce is tempting, remember, this is a permanent situation (unless you accidentally marry your high school crush again, in which case, get in touch, we need that story for a different article). Make sure you're absolutely positive before you hit the eject button.
Feeling overwhelmed? Don't despair! Here are some FAQs to get you started:
Reminder: Reading twice often makes things clearer.
How to Know if You Qualify for a DIY Divorce?
Check the New York Court System website (https://ww2.nycourts.gov/divorce/divorce_withchildrenunder21.shtml). Generally, if you have no minor children and have been separated for over 6 months, you're good to go.
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How to Find a Lawyer Who Does Quick Divorces?
Tip: Keep scrolling — each part adds context.
Ask friends for recommendations or search online for "uncontested divorce attorney NYC". Don't be afraid to interview a few lawyers to find the right fit (and avoid anyone who looks like they haven't slept since the disco era).
How to Serve My Spouse with Papers (If They're Not Exactly Thrilled About This)?
There are specific rules, so consult a lawyer or the court system website (https://ww2.nycourts.gov/divorce/divorce_withchildrenunder21.shtml). Generally, you can have someone 18 or older hand-deliver them or use a process server.
QuickTip: Don’t ignore the small print.
How Much Does a Quick Divorce Cost?
It depends. A DIY divorce can be a few hundred dollars in filing fees. Lawyers typically charge by the hour, so get a quote upfront.
How to Move On Like a Boss After a Divorce?
This is a whole other article, but ice cream, therapy, and that hobby you always put off are all excellent starting points.
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