You Got Mail! But It's Not About Winning the Lottery (Unless the Lottery is for Less Flooded Streets)
Ever ripped open your mailbox with excitement, only to find a bill with more legalese than a lawyer convention? Yeah, us too. Especially that one from the City of Houston with "Drainage Utility Bill" plastered across the front. It's not exactly a pool party invitation, but fear not, my fellow Houstonians, because this bill is actually a superhero in disguise!
Hold Up, Drainage Fee? What Does That Even Mean?
Basically, it's a fancy way of saying "rain tax." Houston gets, well, a lot of rain. And all that water needs a place to go, otherwise, your street might turn into a scenic (but probably mosquito-infested) canal. This fee helps fund the city's drainage system, the unsung hero that whisks away rainwater and keeps us from becoming an aquatic city (although, with all the delicious Tex-Mex, maybe that wouldn't be so bad?).
So, How Much Does This Drainage Duty Cost?
Now, we wouldn't want to sugarcoat it, but the fee is calculated based on the amount of "impervious surface" on your property. In layman's terms, that's the stuff that doesn't absorb water, like your house, driveway, and that fancy koi pond you totally haven't been neglecting (we've all been there). The more "impervious surface," the more rainwater runs off and needs drainage love, hence a slightly bigger chunk of the bill.
But wait, there's more! The rate depends on what kind of drainage system your property uses. Curb and gutter? Slightly steeper fee. Open ditch? A little less. Think of it like a choose-your-own-drainage-adventure (although, please don't choose the adventure of building your own moat).
Don't Drain Your Wallet Worrying
Look, nobody enjoys paying bills, but this one is an investment in our city's future. Better drainage means less flooding, which means less stress, less car trouble, and maybe even fewer rogue pool floats taking a joyride down the street (hey, it's Houston, anything is possible).
So, the next time you see that Drainage Utility Bill, think of it as a superhero cape for our city. It might not be flashy, but it keeps us dry and that's something to celebrate (maybe with a little rain dance? Okay, we'll stop with the water puns).
