Escape from Tarkov Insurance: A Beginner's Guide to Avoiding Naked Raids
So, you've just started running around Tarkov like a caffeinated squirrel on Red Bull, convinced you're ready to take on Killa and his goons with nothing but a rusty pistol and a dream. But hold your horses, comrade, because unless you're a full-blown masochist (no judgment, we've all been there), insurance is your key to avoiding the dreaded naked PMC shuffle.
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| How Does Insurance Work Eft |
What is this "Insurance" You Speak Of?
Think of it like a magical safety net for your precious gear. You pay a little "tarkov tax" to Prapor or Therapist (those shady traders down by the docks), and poof! Your fancy M4 and pristine Kiteshield become less like tempting loot and more like...insured collateral damage.
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How Does This Magical Stuff Work?
Imagine this: You swagger into a raid, kitted out like a tactical Christmas tree, only to get domed by a scav with a rusty shotgun. Normally, that's curtains for your gear, leaving you staring at the "Escape from Tarkov" logo in your underwear. But with insurance, it's not over yet!
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Here's the deal:
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- If nobody else snags your insured gear and extracts with it, your friendly neighborhood traders hold onto it for a few days (think of them as glorified gear nannies). Then, you get a friendly ping and boom! Your gear is back, ready to unleash its vengeance on unsuspecting scavs.
- If someone takes your insured stuff but then kicks the bucket themselves, well, guess what? The insurance company considers that a breach of contract (apparently stealing insured gear is against the Tarkov ToS). Your stuff mysteriously teleports back to your stash, leaving the poor looter as confused as a hamster in a disco ball.
Things to Keep in Mind, Comrade:
- Insurance ain't cheap. Be prepared to shell out some roubles, especially for those top-tier guns and armor. Consider it an investment in your sanity, and maybe a small contribution to Prapor's secret yacht fund.
- Not everything can be insured. Secure containers, melee weapons, and your dignity are on their own. Also, forget about insuring consumables like food and bandages – even Tarkov insurance agents have their limits.
- Time is money. Insurance policies have a timer, so if you don't claim your gear back within the allotted time, it's gone forever. Don't be that PMC who loses their tricked-out AK because they were too busy admiring their reflection in a car window.
Pro Tips for the Budget-Conscious Tarkovians:
- Insure the essentials. Prioritize your weapon, armor, and maybe your fancy backpack. You can always scavenge for the rest, right?
- Shop around for deals. Different traders offer different insurance prices. Therapist might be your go-to for that meta M4, but Prapor might have a bargain basement deal on your trusty SKS.
- Embrace the naked life sometimes. It's good for the soul (and your wallet). Plus, who knows, you might just discover your inner scav king and emerge victorious with a backpack full of loot.
So there you have it, comrades!** A crash course in Tarkov insurance, delivered with a healthy dose of humor (and maybe a sprinkle of sarcasm). Remember, insurance is your friend, but don't rely on it like a crutch. Go out there, shoot some scavs, and maybe, just maybe, you'll survive long enough to see another sunrise (and avoid that dreaded naked PMC shuffle).
Good luck out there, fellow Tarkovians! May the insurance gods be ever in your favor.
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