Confessions of a (Slightly Sweaty) Quant Intern: How I Accidentally Stumbled into Wall Street's Playground
Yo, aspiring quants, listen up! Today, I'm going to drop some wisdom (and maybe a few nervous breakdowns) on how I, your average joe with a passion for ramen and questionable puns, snagged a quant internship at a fancy-pants Wall Street firm. Buckle up, it's a wild ride – think "Pirates of the Caribbean" meets "Calculus for Dummies."
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| How I Got A Quant Internship |
Step 1: Building the Batmobile (aka My Resume)
My resume was essentially a love letter to numbers, sprinkled with enough jargon to make Einstein proud. I listed every relevant course I took, even that one on advanced Excel (yes, it exists, and it's terrifying). Remember, keywords are your friends, just don't go full-blown thesaurus mode and accidentally put "proficient in astrophysics" (unless you actually are, in which case, buddy, hit me up, we need to talk black holes).
Pro Tip: Quantify everything! Turn "team player" into "synergized effectively within cross-functional teams to achieve 112% project completion rate." Boom, instant quant ninja.
QuickTip: Read line by line if it’s complex.
Step 2: The Hunger Games of Online Applications
I applied to more internships than a Kardashian applies for Instagram filters. Rejection emails became my morning coffee, "thanks, but no thanks" my lullaby. But I persevered, fueled by caffeine and the sheer terror of returning to my ramen diet full-time.
Side Quest: Befriend your university's career center. They're like the Yoda of job applications, dispensing wisdom and free pizza with equal fervor.
Tip: Summarize the post in one sentence.
Step 3: The Interview Arena (May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor)
So, I get the call. Interview time. My palms were sweatier than a politician's handshake, my brain smoother than a used car salesman's smile. But here's the thing: everyone in that room was just as nervous as me. We were all quanty wannabes, united by our love of numbers and existential dread.
Remember: Breathe! And if you don't know the answer, pretend to be in deep thought, then confidently say, "That's an excellent question. Let me get back to you with a data-driven response." Boom, problem solved (or at least postponed).
Tip: The details are worth a second look.
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Step 4: The Offer (Cue the Confetti... and the Existential Crisis)
And then... it happened. The email with the subject line that could cure any ramen-induced headache: "Congratulations!" I was in! I did the nerd equivalent of a moonwalk, complete with air guitar and questionable math puns.
But then, reality hit. I was surrounded by geniuses who could code in their sleep and solve differential equations for fun. Suddenly, my ramen-fueled coding skills felt about as useful as a spoon in a sword fight.
QuickTip: Skim first, then reread for depth.
Final Words:
Don't get me wrong, it's tough out there in the quant jungle. But here's the thing: everyone stumbles, everyone sweats, and everyone wonders if they belong. But if you have a passion for numbers, a healthy dose of humor (to deal with the inevitable meltdowns), and the ability to fake it till you make it, then go for it. The quant world needs your weirdness, your ramen-fueled creativity, and your terrible math jokes. So, strap on your coding goggles, embrace the chaos, and remember: even a slightly sweaty intern can make it in Wall Street's playground. Just don't forget the extra napkins – things get messy fast.
P.S. If you see me there, come say hi! We can bond over questionable puns and the shared trauma of the quant interview process. Just don't ask me to explain Black-Scholes – I'm still working on that one.
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