How to New York Griddy: A Guide for Concrete Junglers and Sidewalk Stompers
So you've seen the videos, the viral waves of feet stomping and arms flapping like pigeons caught in a disco ball monsoon. You've heard the whispers on the subway, the murmurs in bodegas: "They griddy different in New York..."
Well, my friend, step right up and prepare to get schooled. This ain't your average TikTok tutorial, this is a deep dive into the gritty underworld (pun intended) of the New York Griddy.
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| How To New York Griddy |
Step 1: Channel Your Inner Taxi Driver:
Forget grace, forget elegance. This ain't ballet, it's a rumble on the asphalt. Imagine you're navigating rush hour traffic with one foot on the gas and the other on the horn, ready to argue with whoever gets in your way (dance floor or otherwise).
Tip: Reading in chunks improves focus.
Sub-step 1a: The Sidewalk Shuffle:
Think you can just stomp your feet like a toddler on a sugar rush? Nah, son. This is a nuanced dance, a symphony of concrete and curb. Shuffle those bad boys side-to-side, like you're dodging puddles and broken hot dog stands. Keep it low, keep it mean, keep it MTA-approved.
Tip: Summarize each section in your own words.
Sub-step 1b: The Brooklyn Bounce:
Now, add a little swagger. Let your hips sway like a bodega awning in a hurricane. This ain't the Charleston, it's the Coney Island Can-Can. Feel the rhythm of the city in your bones, the beat of a thousand sirens and jackhammers.
Step 2: Arms Like Windshield Wipers:
QuickTip: Stop to think as you go.
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Forget those dainty little arm waves, this ain't a tea party. Flail those suckers like you're trying to signal a cab in a blizzard. Forward, back, side-to-side, channel your inner air traffic controller gone rogue. Just make sure you don't accidentally knock over any pigeons (they'll judge you harder than your grandma at Thanksgiving).
Step 3: The Face is the Place:
This ain't just about footwork, folks. This is about attitude. Get that New York resting face on point, a mix of skepticism and simmering annoyance. Like you just had to wait in line for a cronut and it was totally worth it.
QuickTip: Skim slowly, read deeply.
Bonus Round: The Subway Swagger:
Mastered the basics? Take it to the next level and bust a griddy on the subway platform. Bonus points for:
- Doing it during rush hour without tripping over someone's briefcase
- Maintaining eye contact with a grumpy businessman while you shimmy
- Getting the entire train clapping (or at least not throwing rotten bananas)
Remember: The New York Griddy ain't about perfection, it's about personality. Let loose, have fun, and don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself. Because in the concrete jungle, sometimes the only way to survive is to dance like nobody's watching (even though everyone definitely is).
So there you have it, folks. Your comprehensive guide to New York Griddying. Now go forth and stomp your way into legend, just watch out for those banana peels.
And one last thing: If you see me on the subway doing the griddy, please don't film me. Just join in. We can make this a beautiful, awkward mess together.
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