So You Wanna Channel Billie Holiday and Tickle the Ivories Like a Big Apple Badass? A Hilariously Honest Guide to Playing "Autumn in New York"
Let's face it, "Autumn in New York" is about as ubiquitous as pumpkin spice lattes and existential dread come fall. But that doesn't mean you can't rock its jazzy bones on the piano and leave your audience (your cat, the goldfish, the sentient houseplant) swooning like Bill Murray serenading Diane Keaton.
Step 1: Embrace the Inner Cynic (But Keep it Classy)
This ain't your grandma's singalong. "Autumn in New York" is a ballad drenched in bittersweet nostalgia, where fallen leaves whisper about lost love and the wind howls like a scorned ex. So channel your inner Chandler Bing, sprinkle in some Dorothy Parker wit, and get ready to tickle those ivories with a touch of melancholic sass.
Sub-step A: Master the Art of the Melodic Sigh:
Think long, drawn-out notes, punctuated by pauses that wouldn't be out of place in a dramatic Shakespearean soliloquy. Let your fingers linger on those keys like they're reminiscing about a particularly juicy piece of gossip from 1922.
Sub-step B: Channel Your Inner Rachmaninoff (Without Breaking a Fingernail):
Okay, maybe Rachmaninoff is a bit much. But don't be afraid to throw in some flourishes and embellishments. Think jazzy runs, sneaky chromaticism, and the occasional dramatic octave jump to really nail that "sophisticated New Yorker with a hidden darkness" vibe.
Step 2: Befriend the Blues (They're Not as Scary as They Seem):
This tune is practically swimming in those sweet, melancholy blues chords. So get comfortable with those dominant sevenths and flatted fifths. Trust me, they'll add a smoky depth to your playing that'll make you sound like you've spent every night of the past decade in a dimly lit jazz club, chain-smoking cigarettes and swapping existential barbs with Miles Davis.
Step 3: Don't Fear the Improv (But Maybe Start with Baby Steps):
This is where things get spicy. Improvisation is the secret sauce of jazz, and while it might seem like a terrifying tightrope walk over a pit of musical oblivion, it's actually kinda fun. Start small, maybe a simple blues scale here and there, and gradually build your confidence. Remember, even wrong notes can sound cool if you play them with conviction (and a healthy dose of swagger).
Step 4: Own the Spotlight (Even if it's Just Your Living Room):
Put on your snazziest fedora (or cat ears, no judgment), channel your inner Billie Holiday, and let that music flow. Sway your head, close your eyes, and feel the melancholic magic of autumn wash over you. Remember, you're not just playing a song, you're painting a picture of a city with a thousand stories, a symphony of fallen leaves and rain-slicked streets.
Bonus Tip: If All Else Fails, Blame it on the Weather:
Hey, if Billie Holiday could justify belting out this song in the middle of summer, then you can definitely play it with the thermostat cranked up and the AC blasting. Just tell your audience you're "method acting" and sweating to channel the autumnal humidity.
So there you have it, folks. Your hilarious (and hopefully helpful) guide to conquering "Autumn in New York" on the piano. Now go forth, tickle those ivories, and remember, even if you sound more like a cat trapped in a washing machine than Oscar Peterson, just own it. After all, in the spirit of the song, isn't that what autumn in New York is all about?
Just don't blame me if your goldfish starts sobbing.
