How to Survive in the Big Apple with a Nervous Breakdown and a Handheld Camcorder: Your Guide to "How to with John Wilson"
New York City. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, right? Unless your dream is to avoid pigeons like they're radioactive squirrels and navigate the subway without accidentally joining a cult. Enter John Wilson, your anxious everyman in a fleece vest, here to show you the unpolished side of the glittering apple with "How to with John Wilson."
Think Mister Rogers on acid after a double espresso. John tackles the "how-to's" of life with the grace of a drunken giraffe on roller skates, but that's precisely what makes his show so damn compelling. It's a love letter to New York with all its warts and pigeon droppings (seriously, why are there so many?).
Here's your crash course on navigating the hilarious, awkward, and strangely heartwarming world of "How to with John Wilson":
Reminder: Save this article to read offline later.
Season 1: A Descent into the Mind of a Man Obsessed with Scaffolding
- Episode 1: How to Make Small Talk: Learn how to avoid awkward silences by staring intently at strangers' shoes and muttering about the existential dread of pigeon mating rituals.
- Episode 3: How to Find a Spot: Witness John's valiant (and hilarious) struggle to parallel park a U-Haul in Midtown traffic. Spoiler alert: it involves yoga poses and existential screaming.
- Episode 8: How to Improve Your Memory: Get lost in a rabbit hole of Mandela Effect conspiracies that will leave you questioning the very fabric of reality (and whether that hot dog you ate was actually a sentient dust bunny).
Tip: Keep scrolling — each part adds context.
 |
| How To With John Wilson New York |
Season 2: The Deep Dive into the Absurd
- Episode 2: How to Put Up Scaffolding: Buckle up for a historical and philosophical exploration of NYC's ubiquitous metal eyesores. John even attempts to build his own scaffolding, with predictably disastrous results.
- Episode 4: How to Explain Emotions: Prepare to laugh through the tears as John grapples with his own emotional baggage, interviewing everyone from a dominatrix to a mime to get a handle on the human condition.
- Episode 7: How to Write a Song: Witness the birth (and painful demise) of John's musical masterpiece, a genre-bending ode to...uh...the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Season 3: A Farewell to Arms (and Anxiety)
QuickTip: Reflect before moving to the next part.
 |
- Episode 3: How to Dump Someone: Brace yourself for an unconventional breakup guide that involves LARPing, a trip to a cat caf�, and a whole lot of awkward honesty.
- Episode 4: How to Do Nothing: Finally, John tackles the most challenging task of all - simply existing without the weight of the world on his shoulders. Spoiler alert: it's even harder than it sounds.
- Episode 7: How to Keep Going: The series finale is a bittersweet ode to resilience, reminding us that even in the craziest city on Earth, we can find connection, purpose, and maybe even a smile, even when life throws existential pigeons at us.
Why watch "How to with John Wilson"? Because it's a hilarious, honest, and surprisingly touching portrait of humanity. It's a show that celebrates the weird, the awkward, and the utterly ordinary in a city that never sleeps. And who knows, you might just learn how to find a parking spot, decipher the subway announcements, and maybe even face your own anxieties, all while laughing until you cry. Just remember, always pack extra batteries for your camcorder: you never know when you'll stumble upon a pigeon cult meeting or a man singing opera to his toaster.
So, grab your bodega coffee, put on your most comfortable fleece vest, and dive into the wonderfully unhinged world of "How to with John Wilson." You won't regret it (unless you have a weak bladder from laughing so hard).
Tip: Don’t rush — enjoy the read.
P.S. Don't forget to look out for John's signature moves: the awkward shuffle-run, the pensive pigeon stare, and the existential hand-wringing. They're practically Olympic-level.
P.P.S. Seriously, there are way too many pigeons in New York. Why haven't we made pigeon hot dogs yet? Discuss.
 |
