Broke and Desperate? How to "Borrow" Money from Venmo in 2022 (Spoiler Alert: It Doesn't Actually Work)
Ah, the age-old question: how do I convince my friends I need that limited-edition avocado toast beanie (it's an investment, okay?) when my bank account resembles the Sahara Desert after a sandstorm?
Well, if you were hoping for a magic solution involving Venmo and some creative "borrowing," buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to embark on a hilarious journey of financial reality (cue dramatic music).
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| How To Borrow Money From Venmo 2022 |
Step 1: Denial is Your Friend (For Now)
QuickTip: Skim slowly, read deeply.
First things first, deny, deny, deny. Claim Venmo has invented a revolutionary new loan feature specifically designed to fund your, ahem, "essential" purchases. This tall tale will surely have your friends rushing to be early adopters, right? (Right? Guys?)
Step 2: Unleash the Emoji Arsenal
QuickTip: Stop to think as you go.
Nothing softens a heart (or loosens a wallet) like a strategically placed emoji barrage. Remember, a picture is worth a thousand Venmo dollars, or at least that's what you'll be trying to convince them of.
Step 3: Get Creative with the Narrative
Tip: Skim only after you’ve read fully once.
Here comes the Oscar-worthy performance. Craft a tear-jerking story about your pet goldfish needing emergency dental surgery (because apparently, even aquatic creatures have expensive dental needs these days).
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Pro Tip: Bonus points for dramatic fainting spells and crocodile tears.
Step 4: Embrace the Power of Positive Thinking (and Maybe a Side Hustle)
Tip: Don’t skip the small notes — they often matter.
Okay, so by now, you've probably realized Venmo isn't exactly handing out loans (shocking, I know). But fear not, fellow financially challenged friend! Here's the real plan:
- Dust off your resume and unleash your inner entrepreneur. Offer to mow lawns, walk dogs, or become a professional cuddler for cats with commitment issues. Every penny counts!
- Channel your inner chef and whip up some delicious treats to sell. Brownies, cookies, or even gourmet air (it's a thing, trust me) – the possibilities are endless (and delicious)!
- Embrace the barter system. Offer your services – maybe you're a whiz at fixing leaky faucets or can braid hair like a pro – in exchange for the beanie of your dreams.
Remember: A little creativity, a sprinkle of hustle, and a whole lot of honesty (with yourself and your friends) will get you much further than any fictional Venmo loan feature ever could.
P.S. If you do manage to convince a friend to "lend" you money, be sure to pay them back promptly and with interest (maybe in the form of eternal friendship and freshly baked cookies).
And lastly, a word to the wise: Don't spend more than you have, and maybe hold off on that limited-edition beanie until your bank account is singing a happier tune.
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