Certainly sir or maam (as they say in polite society), and allow me to introduce myself – I am Bard the Bond Butler (though some might call me the Bond Broker, but that sounds a tad too mercenary for my refined sensibilities). But worry not about that – what we truly bond over is our shared love for the most exquisite financial instruments known to man (or at least to those who can afford them): bonds !**
But where does one even begin, you cry (or perhaps whimper silently to yourself as you clutch your meager coin purse). Fear not for Bard is here to guide you through the labyrinthine world of bond buying like a financial sherpa...well maybe like a financial sherpa with a monocle and a penchant for puns but a sherpa nonetheless.!**
Subheading the First – The ABCDs of Bond Buying (and by D I mean Denomination)
??** (as they say in esteemed financial institutions), let us establish a baseline – what exactly is a bond (you ask with a concerned glint in your eye). Well fret not for Bard is here to sooth your worries – simply put, a bond is essentially a loan (like that time you borrowed your friend an umbrella and they never returned it...cough cough...moving on!). But instead of being secured by a slightly soggy piece of fabric (one hopes), bonds are backed by the rock solid credit of either governments or corporations (think of it as a crisp $ bill instead of that questionable IOU signed by your pet hamster).**
Tip: Read in a quiet space for focus.
Sovereign or Supra Sovereign Bonds – The Kings and Queens of the Bond Ball
Imagine majestic beasts roaming the savanna, oh wait wrong post... Ahem, sovereign bonds are essentially those issued by governments of esteemed nations (think of them as the sovereign lions of the bond kingdom). These are the granddaddies of bonds – stable as a rock and about as exciting as watching paint dry. But hey – if you crave stability like a Koala craves eucalyptus leaves, then they are your jam (or should I say jellied eel...because ew).
Corporate Cutie Bonds – The Peppy Pugs of the Bond Soir�e
QuickTip: Don’t ignore the small print.
On the other paw cough cough, we have corporate bonds. These are the chihuahuas of the bond fiesta – sprightly and ever so slightly less predictable (think of them as investments with the temperament of a sugar hyped toddler). But hey – if you enjoy a bit of spice in your financial portfolio (alongside a healthy dose of risk awareness because like...duh), then they could be your cup of tea (or should I say chamomile tisane because...well...you get the picture).
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And now for the moment you have all been waiting for...
Subheading the Second – The Nitty Gritty of Where to Buy Bonds
QuickTip: Focus on one line if it feels important.
Bonds are bought and sold on the open market, just like stocks and other financial instruments (because apparently we can never have too many financial instruments). But instead of traipsing off to your local stock exchange like some kind of financial Indiana Jones (whip optional but highly encouraged), you can comodally purchase them through bond brokers (think of them as the Sherpas I mentioned before – only without the questionable monocle and penchant for puns). These are the financial sages who will guide you through the murky waters of bond land and help you make investment decisions as wise as...well...as that time you managed to avoid stepping in gum while wearing your brand new????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? (yes that was a lot of?)...well anyway**.
But wait there is more...
Tip: Read actively — ask yourself questions as you go.
Subheading the Third – The Holy Grail of Bond Buying Tips
Tip Number Uno – Do Your Due Diligence: Bonds are not like that shiny new car
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