So You Want to Re-Enter the Wonderful World of Walmart, Eh?
Ah, Walmart. The land of greeters who out-greet Olympic athletes, shelves that could hold the knowledge of the universe (if properly organized), and that mysterious never-ending stream of blue jeans on discount. But let's face it, for some folks, it's also a past employer they're itching to return to.
But the question remains: how long is the purgatory between Walmart stints?
Well, buckle up, because the answer is about as clear as the instructions on a microwavable burrito: it depends.
-
The Great Fitting Sheet Fold Disclaimer: This is not an actual scientific measurement. However, if you can conquer the Everest of linens and emerge victorious in a reasonable amount of time, you're probably good to go. Patience is a virtue at Walmart, and let's be honest, folding fitted sheets is a test of patience like no other.
-
The Banana Ripeness Rule If you can handle the olfactory assault of overripe bananas without wincing, then you've probably built up an immunity necessary to return to the produce section. Those things are potent.
-
The Customer Indecision Index Can you navigate the cereal aisle without getting caught in the crossfire of someone debating between Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles for 20 minutes? If so, you might be ready to dodge indecisive shoppers again.
Alternatively, there's the Walmart Re-entry Express Lane:
-
The "Welcome Back" Bonus Blitz Did you leave on good terms with Walmart? If you snag a "Welcome Back" bonus, consider that the universe waving a giant green flag that says, "Come on back!"
-
The Great Name Tag Declutter Can you unearth your old Walmart name tag from the abyss of your garage? If so, that might be a sign...or maybe it's time to clean your garage. Either way, it could be a Walmart welcome back omen.
Look, at the end of the day, Walmart is always looking for good people. So, if the retail life calls to you, don't be discouraged. Apply, see what happens, and who knows, you might be back in those blue vestments greeting customers with a smile in no time. Just try not to get hypnotized by the allure of the blue light specials.
