The Great Instagram Verification Badge Quest: How Long Does This Medieval Trial By Jury Actually Take?
Ah, the coveted blue tick. A symbol of fame, fortune, and...well, mostly just letting everyone know you're not some random catfish pretending to be Beyonc� (sorry, Sasha Fierce). But how long does it actually take to snag this elusive mark of internet royalty? Buckle up, because we're about to embark on a quest that would make King Arthur himself weep.
Step 1: Building Your Case for Instagram Sainthood
First things first, you gotta prove your worth to the almighty Instagram algorithm. Think of it like applying for a library card, but with paparazzi shots and a higher chance of rejection. Here's the deal:
Tip: Reread tricky sentences for clarity.
-
Be Someone Important (or at least pretend to be): This is where things get murky. Technically, anyone can apply. But let's be honest, unless your grandma accidentally went viral for her epic pickle jar collection, you probably need a little something extra. Act like a public figure even if the only public you frequent is the one down the street. Cultivate a following, churn out killer content, and pray for that viral moment (maybe a skateboarding pug or a toddler flawlessly recreating Beyonc�'s Single Ladies dance?).
-
Become One With The Followers (but not in a creepy way): Engage with your audience like they're your best friends (minus the awkward middle school sleepovers). Respond to comments, host polls, and maybe even throw in a live stream where you, you know, actually talk (unless your entire persona is based on interpretive dance).
Step 2: Submitting Your Petition to the Instagram Gods
Once you've convinced the internet you're basically a celebrity (or at least the mayor of a very enthusiastic dog park fan club), it's time to officially request verification. Head over to your settings, navigate the labyrinthine menus (because apparently getting verified should be a test of your technological prowess as well), and fill out the application. Be prepared to answer questions about your identity and why, oh why, you deserve a blue badge more than that travel influencer with a suspiciously perfect life.
Tip: The middle often holds the main point.
 |
Step 3: The Waiting Game (Which Feels Like an Eternity)
And then...you wait. Instagram says it can take up to 30 days to review your request. But let's be real, it could feel like they've sent it off to be judged by medieval monks who only communicate via carrier pigeon. Here's how to occupy yourself while you patiently (ahem) wait:
Tip: Avoid distractions — stay in the post.
- Convince yourself the blue tick isn't that important anyway. Channel your inner zen and focus on creating awesome content because, well, that's kind of the point of Instagram in the first place, right?
- Develop a elaborate conspiracy theory about why they haven't verified you yet. Maybe it's because your cat's disapproving stare in your profile picture is too intimidating for the algorithm. Maybe Mark Zuckerberg himself is personally reviewing applications and just hasn't gotten to yours yet (rude!).
**The Verdict: **
So, how long does it really take? There's no magic answer. It could be a week, a month, or longer than your grandma takes to finish that never-ending fruit cake. Just focus on being awesome (and maybe a little shameless) online, and that blue tick will hopefully appear before your patience runs out.
QuickTip: Pay close attention to transitions.
Remember, even if you don't snag the verification badge, you're still amazing (and way cooler than anyone who needs validation from a social media app). Now go forth and conquer Instagram...or at least get your dog to do some truly epic tricks for your next post.
 |
