The Quest for Glide: How Not to Get Carded for KY at Walmart
Ah, lube. The unsung hero of a night (or day) of fun. But before you unleash your inner Casanova (or Cleopatra), a question of national importance arises: How old do you have to be to buy lube at Walmart?
Fear not, fellow adventurers in the land of personal lubricants, for I, your trusty guide (and champion of awkward purchases), have embarked on this noble quest for knowledge.
The Age of Mystery: Separating Fact from Friction
There's a rumor floating around denser than a tub of petroleum jelly that you need to be 18 to buy lube at Walmart. But is it true? Absolutely not! Walmart, like many other stores, doesn't require an age check for lube because it falls under the ever-so-important category of personal care products.
Think about it: You can buy lotion at Walmart without raising an eyebrow, and lube is essentially fancy lotion for...well, you get the picture.
The Art of Stealth: Dodging the Awkward Glance
Now, while there's no age limit, there's always the chance of encountering a particularly curious cashier who raises an eyebrow at your purchase. Here are some tips for a smooth checkout:
- Channel your inner ninja: Grab the lube with the nonchalance of someone picking up a bottle of dish soap. Nobody needs to know your weekend plans.
- The self-checkout shuffle: If you're feeling extra self-conscious, befriend the self-checkout lane. No judgment, just beeps and bags.
- Embrace the giggles: If the cashier does give you a funny look, a well-timed chuckle and a "works wonders for squeaky door hinges" can diffuse the awkwardness faster than a water-based lube.
Remember: Confidence is key. Walk tall, head held high, and own that lube purchase. You're an adult on a mission to, ahem, prevent friction. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Beyond the Big Blue Box: Alternative Lube Adventures
Maybe Walmart isn't your jam, or perhaps you're looking for a more discreet option. Fear not, for there are other lube landscapes to explore:
- Drugstores: Your friendly neighborhood CVS or Walgreens likely has a selection of lubes tucked away in the personal care aisle.
- Online retailers: The internet is a vast and judgment-free zone when it comes to lube shopping. Just be sure to order from a reputable source.
In Conclusion: The Takeaway on Getting Your Glide On
There you have it, folks! No age restrictions, just a world of possibilities waiting for you in the lube aisle. So go forth, conquer dryness, and remember: a little preparation can prevent a whole lot of friction (both physical and social).
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a bottle of lube and a very squeaky door hinge...
