So You Want to Borrow From Charon? A Guide for the Financially Desperate (and Slightly Delusional)
Ah, the age-old question: how does one "borrow" from the ferryman of the dead himself? Well, my friend, you've come to the right place. Now, before we delve into this ethically questionable territory, let me establish a few ground rules:
- This is not financial advice. Seriously, don't blame me if you end up six feet under (or, well, further) with Charon demanding his Obol back with interest.
- Charon isn't exactly known for his forgiving nature. Think less "benevolent lender" and more "slightly grumpy immortal with a bone to pick" (pun intended).
- This guide is purely for entertainment purposes. I, in no way, condone or encourage stealing from the dead (or the ferryman of the dead).
Now, with the disclaimers out of the way, let's get down to business!
Tip: Look for small cues in wording.
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| How To Borrow From Charon |
Step 1: Befriend Charon (emphasis on the "try")
This might seem counterintuitive, but hear me out. Shower Charon with compliments on his boat ("It's not technically a rowboat, is it?"), inquire about his commute ("Ever get tired of the same route?"), and maybe even bring him a souvenir from your adventures (Hades really doesn't need another novelty mug).
QuickTip: Revisit key lines for better recall.
Warning: This approach has a roughly 0.0001% chance of success, but hey, stranger things have happened (especially in the Underworld).
Tip: Reread key phrases to strengthen memory.
Step 2: The "Accidental" Mishap
This method involves a carefully orchestrated "trip" (don't worry, I won't judge) that sends you tumbling headfirst into Charon's coin purse. Key points:
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- Commitment is key. Really sell the fall, complete with dramatic flailing and theatrical groans.
- Maintain innocence. Act completely surprised when you "discover" a few Obols clinging to your clothes.
- Be prepared to run. Charon might not appreciate your "borrowing" technique.
Success rate: Slightly higher than befriending Charon, but still a gamble.
Step 3: The "Bold Bandit"
This option is for the daring (or perhaps desperate) individual. Simply grab a handful of Obols and make a run for it. Remember, Charon is surprisingly spry for an immortal ferryman, so be prepared for a high-speed chase through the Underworld.
Success rate: Statistically lower than winning the lottery, but hey, you never know!
Bonus Tip: If all else fails, try your luck at the Styx Casino. Just remember, the house always wins (especially when the house is literally the Underworld).
Remember: Borrowing from Charon is a risky proposition. You might end up with a permanent residence in the Underworld (without the complimentary boat rides). But hey, if you're feeling lucky (or just incredibly broke), who am I to judge? Just don't say I didn't warn you.
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