The Hustler's Handbook: Borrowing from the Hustler Fund without Hustling Too Hard
Let's face it, everyone hits a financial bump in the road now and then. Maybe your car decided to impersonate a clown car and eject a rainbow of expensive parts, or perhaps your pet goldfish developed a taste for the finer things in life (like solid gold flakes). Whatever the reason, you find yourself in need of a little financial TLC.
Fear not, fellow hustlers! The Hustler Fund is here to lend a helping hand, or rather, a helping mobile money transaction. But before you dive headfirst into the world of microloans, let's navigate this thing with the finesse of a seasoned entrepreneur (and maybe a sprinkle of humor to avoid breaking the internet).
QuickTip: Treat each section as a mini-guide.
 |
| How To Borrow Hustler Fund |
Step 1: Assemble Your Hustler Squad (a.k.a Required Stuff)
- A Kenyan ID card: This is like your hustler passport. No ID, no dough.
- Be over 18: We're not funding lemonade stands (unless they're the millionaire-making kind, in which case, hit me up).
- An active SIM card: Because, hello, mobile money magic!
- A good credit score (ish): The Hustler Fund is pretty chill, but having a good track record with past loans helps.
Bonus points: Owning a registered business and having a fancy KRA PIN unlocks the Biashara (business) loan option.
QuickTip: If you skimmed, go back for detail.
Step 2: Channel Your Inner Tech Wiz (a.k.a The Application Process)
There are two ways to apply for the Hustler Fund:
QuickTip: Break down long paragraphs into main ideas.
- *Dial 254# on your phone: This is the "I left my laptop at the bottom of the cereal box" option.
- Download the Hustler Fund app: This is the "I'm a tech-savvy hustler" option.
Once you've chosen your weapon of choice, follow the prompts and answer the questions honestly. Remember, honesty is the best policy (and it helps avoid getting flagged as a loan-dodging penguin).
Tip: Reading in chunks improves focus.
 |
Step 3: The Waiting Game (a.k.a Patience is a Virtue, Especially When You're Broke)
After applying, take a deep breath and resist the urge to refresh the app every five seconds. The Hustler Fund will assess your application and let you know their decision. This could take a few hours, so use the time productively. Maybe brainstorm some side hustle ideas to pay back the loan in style (think competitive napping league or professional meme creator).
Step 4: Loan Approved! Now What? (a.k.a Time to Get That Money Honey!)
If your loan is approved, do a celebratory dance (the sprinkler is a crowd-pleaser). The funds will be deposited directly into your mobile money wallet. Remember, use the money wisely and avoid spending it on things that won't help you grow as a hustler.
Pro Tip: Hustler Fund 101
- Borrow what you can realistically repay. Don't be that person who ends up owing more than they can handle.
- Repay your loan on time. This keeps your credit score happy and opens doors for future hustler fund adventures.
- The Hustler Fund is there to help you get back on your feet, not finance your extravagant yacht dreams (yet).
So there you have it, folks! With a little preparation and a dash of humor, you can navigate the Hustler Fund like a seasoned pro. Remember, being a hustler is all about resourcefulness, resilience, and a sprinkle of laughter along the way. Now go forth and conquer your financial goals!
 |
