How to Totally (Legally) Purchase Yourself Some Prestige: A Guide to the Gilded Badge
Let's face it, folks, in the age of social media, the blue tick is the ultimate status symbol. It's like the verified version of "hold my beer and watch this." But fear not, aspiring influencer or meme lord! While organic verification, like that elusive unicorn, might seem mythical, there's a new option in town (well, sort of a new option, provided you live in certain countries). That's right, my friends, we're talking about buying the blue tick.
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| How To Buy Blue Tick |
Buckle Up, Buttercup, It's Not All Rainbows and Butterflies (But Mostly Rainbows)
Now, before you start emptying your piggy bank, there are a few catches. This isn't exactly buying your way into the Illuminati. First off, it's currently only available on Meta platforms (Facebook and Instagram) and in a select few countries. So, if you're reading this from Timbuktu, hold tight, your verification-buying days might be coming.
QuickTip: Pause when something feels important.
Secondly, you gotta be kinda famous-ish. We're not talking ten followers and a cat video that got three likes from your mom. Think public figure, athlete, politician, or that dog who knows how to skateboard (seriously, that dog is going places).
Tip: Be mindful — one idea at a time.
But hey, if you meet those criteria, then listen up! Here's your crash course on becoming a certified badge-bearer:
QuickTip: Let each idea sink in before moving on.
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- Whip out your phone and fire up that Instagram or Facebook app.
- Navigate to the labyrinthine world of settings. It's like finding El Dorado, but with less jungle and more targeted ads.
- Behold! The holy grail (well, a subscription service, but hey, tomato, tomahto): If you're deemed worthy, you'll see a glorious option called "Meta Verified."
- Click that button like your life depends on it (because, let's be honest, a little bit of your social media life does).
- Prepare to be amazed (and slightly horrified) by the monthly fee. We're talking about the price of a fancy coffee habit, but hey, a blue tick is forever (well, at least as long as you keep paying).
- Break out your government ID and prove you're not a catfish. Nobody wants a blue tick for a sock puppet account, do they?
And voila! You've officially purchased your way into the blue tick club. Now you can finally feel that warm fuzz of validation washing over you, knowing that your social media presence is as certified as organic and free-range kale.
Tip: Make mental notes as you go.
Disclaimer (Because Lawyers Made Me Do It)
Important Note: While buying a blue tick is a new option, it doesn't guarantee social media superstardom. You still gotta put in the work, churn out the content, and maybe, just maybe, avoid posting that questionable selfie from that questionable night out.
But hey, at least you'll look legit doing it.
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