So Jimmy Wants Wheels? A Parent's Guide to GTA Car Shopping (Without Losing Your Mind)
Ah, Jimmy. Your teenage pride and joy (emphasis on "joy," because let's be honest, raising a teenager in Los Santos is enough to turn any sane person into Trevor). Lately, the only thing coming out of his room faster than dirty laundry is the constant whine: "Can I get a car, Dad/Mom? EVERYONE at school has one!"
Now, before you reach for your in-game wallet and buy that Adder you've always secretly wanted (we all have our vices), there's a whole ordeal to navigate. Here's your survival guide to getting Jimmy a car in GTA 5 without ending up in therapy (or worse, bailing him out of jail).
Step 1: Assessing the Damage (Financially and Emotionally)
- How much can you afford to lose? Let's face it, Jimmy isn't exactly known for his responsible driving skills. That Faggio he totalled last week is a testament to that. Be prepared for some bumps and bruises (both to the car and your ego).
- Is your sanity worth a Schwartzer? Jimmy's car choices might be...interesting. Remember, you're the one who has to listen to him brag about his neon pink Sultan RS.
Step 2: The Great Jimmy Gauntlet
- The Negotiation: Buckle up, because this is where things get interesting. Jimmy will employ every tactic in the teenage arsenal: guilt trips, crocodile tears, promises of good grades (which will likely vanish faster than his allowance). Stand firm, but be prepared to make some concessions (within reason, of course). Pro-Tip: Offer a "starter car" with the promise of an upgrade if he maintains good grades (remember, maintaining good grades in GTA is a relative term).
Step 3: Taking Jimmy Car Shopping (This Could Get Messy)
- Location, Location, Location: Do you drag him to LSC (Los Santos Customs), hoping a mechanic can talk some sense into him? Or maybe a visit to Simeon's to see the "gently used" selection (avoid eye contact with the shady salesman).
- The Test Drive from Hell: This is where Jimmy's inner demolition derby champion comes out. Be prepared for near-misses, questionable stunts, and the ever-present danger of him wrapping the car around a light pole before you even leave the parking lot.
Step 4: The Aftermath (Because There Will Be One)
- The Inevitable Crash: Let's face it, it's not a matter of if Jimmy will crash, but when. Stock up on insurance (because your parenting skills are about to be stress-tested).
- The Jimmy Joyride: Be prepared for the constant "borrowings" of his new car. Neighbourhood errands? Unlikely. Joyriding with his dubious friends at 3 AM? More probable.
Remember: You can't win them all, but you can try to survive the experience. With a little luck (and a lot of patience), you might just get Jimmy a car that (hopefully) makes it through the week, and maybe even teaches him a little about responsibility (okay, maybe that's a stretch, but a parent can dream, right?).
