So You Want Wheels in Liberty City? A Totally Serious (Not Really) Guide to Buying Cars in GTA IV
Let's face it, Niko Bellic probably isn't the most discerning car shopper. Dude just rolled off a boat from Eastern Europe, and Liberty City's finest selection of automobiles seem to involve questionable pasts and dubious ownership. But hey, if you're looking to ditch the sticky vinyl seats of stolen rides and experience the joy (or mild disappointment) of a legitimate purchase, this guide's for you!
Showrooms: Not as Shady as They Sound (Maybe)
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Liberty City boasts a whopping two dealerships where you can part with your hard-earned cash for a slightly less-suspect set of wheels. Here's the lowdown:
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- Auto Eroticar (Alderney City): The name might scream "avoid at all costs," but this establishment actually offers a respectable (if singular) selection: the Turismo. Just don't ask about the complimentary air freshener they're trying to push.
- Grotti Showroom (Rodeo): Fancy yourself a connoisseur of sleek Italian sports cars? Then this is your joint. Here, you'll find the one and only Grotti Turismo. Yes, the same car as Auto Eroticar. Look, selection ain't Liberty City's strong suit, okay?
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How To Buy A Car In GTA 4 |
But Dude, Where's the Variety?
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Look, if you're expecting a selection rivalling a Los Santos car lot, you're gonna be about as disappointed as Niko after Roman promises a good time and ends up dragging you to a bowling alley with his creepy cousin. The good news? The entire city is your used car dealership (emphasis on "used").
Alternative Options (That Might Involve Cop Chases)
- Grand Theft Auto (The Original Kind): This Liberty City classic never goes out of style. Just be sure you can outrun the fuzz, because let's face it, your driving skills are probably about as polished as Niko's table manners.
- Befriending a Car Thief (Not Recommended): Hey, if you can convince Brucie Kibbutz you're worthy enough to hang out with, maybe he'll "accidentally" leave a hot ride in your driveway. Just don't expect Brucie to be cool with dents or mysterious stains in the upholstery.
Important Tips to Remember (Mostly for Avoiding Felony Charges)
- Don't Buy a Car From a Guy in a Back Alley: This should be self-explanatory. Unless you're in the market for a car that comes pre-loaded with a kidnapping charge, steer clear.
- Always Check Under the Hood (For More Than Engine Parts): You never know what kind of "souvenirs" the previous owner might have stashed. A stray RPG or a bag of dubious substances could put a real damper on your joyride.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, comrade! Will you be a responsible (-ish) citizen and hit up the dealerships? Or will you stick to the tried-and-true (and slightly illegal) methods of Liberty City car acquisition? Just remember, no matter how you get your wheels, make sure they can handle all the chaos this city throws your way. Now get out there and explore, just try not to put too many dents in your new (or "new") ride!