Be the Salty Scrooge McSperma You Always Dreamed Of: How to Donate Sperm in BitLife (Because Apparently That's a Thing)
Let's face it, parenthood isn't for everyone. Between the tantrums, the existential questions about why you can't have pizza for every meal, and the neverending chorus of "But Mooooooom," it's enough to make anyone question their life choices. But hey, there's another way to contribute to the next generation (and maybe even pad your bank account a little) – becoming a sperm donor! In the wacky world of BitLife, this is a legitimate (and surprisingly lucrative) career path. So, ditch the minivan and onesies, and dust off your metaphorical swimmers, because we're about to dive head first into the world of BitLife sperm donation.
**Step 1: **Lookin' Good (Enough): You Don't Need to Be Fabio, But...
While BitLife doesn't have a strict "Fabio-only" policy, it helps to have decent genes in the gene pool you're contributing to. Think of it as karma for all those times you used "borrowed" your sibling's clothes – it's payback time! You won't be able to directly control your character's appearance in this case (blame the stork?), but you can nudge things in the right direction – focus on activities that boost your character's looks, like joining the gym or getting a killer tan (though maybe avoid the whole "orange is the new black" look).
**Step 2: **The Money Maker: **Filling Out Those Forms (Because Apparently Sperm Banks Love Bureaucracy)
Alright, so you've (hopefully) cleaned yourself up a bit. Time to hit the career menu and navigate the thrilling world of sperm donation applications. Be prepared to answer some personal questions – things like your education level (because apparently, smart sperm is a thing) and your family history (hopefully no skeletons in the closet...or at least none that glow in the dark). The more impressive your profile, the higher the payout per donation, so be honest (but maybe avoid mentioning that time you accidentally dyed your hair purple with laundry detergent).
**Step 3: **The Big Kahuna (or Should We Say, The Big Donation?): **Making Your Deposit (This Doesn't Involve the Bank)
Congratulations! You've made it through the sperm bank's rigorous application process (which probably involved less effort than applying for a library card). Now comes the fun part (well, maybe not fun, but definitely the part that involves a private room and a very sterile cup). Head over to the "Activities" tab and select "Donate Sperm." Voila! You've just helped create a tiny human (or maybe several, depending on how generous you're feeling).
The Not-So-Glamorous Side of Sperm Donation
Let's be honest, sperm donation isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There's a chance your character might get rejected (harsh, but sperm banks gotta be picky), and the whole process can feel a bit...sterile (unlike that time you "donated" glitter to the school ventilation system in the 7th grade...that was a mess).
But hey, if you're looking for a unique way to make some quick cash (and maybe leave a lasting legacy...hopefully a good one), then sperm donation in BitLife might just be the answer. Just remember, with great power (and great sperm) comes great responsibility. So donate wisely, my friends, and try not to spend all your earnings on glow-in-the-dark shoelaces (because apparently, those are a thing too).
