So You Think You Can Draw Walmart? Buckle Up, Picasso!
Ah, Walmart. The land of rollback prices, questionable fashion choices, and that inexplicable urge to buy ten pounds of marshmallows. But have you ever gazed upon its majestic brick facade and thought, "You know, I could totally draw that"? Well, my friend, you've come to the right place. Today, we'll be channeling our inner Michelangelo (with a sprinkle of Martha Stewart) and learning how to draw a masterpiece worthy of the bargain bin.
Step 1: Assembling Your Arsenal (or, What You'll Need)
- A #2 Pencil: Because let's face it, even Da Vinci started somewhere. Plus, erasers are your friend when those bargain-basement deals look suspiciously like squiggles.
- Paper: Printer paper is fine, but feel free to grab a napkin from the break room if you're feeling fancy. (Just make sure your boss isn't looking.)
- A Ruler (Optional): Lines are great and all, but freehanding adds a touch of "rustic charm" (or, you know, hides the fact you haven't seen a ruler since elementary school).
- A Reference Photo (Highly Optional): Google Images is your oyster! But hey, if you can draw a convincing Walmart from memory, you deserve a lifetime supply of blue jeans and discount toothpaste.
Pro Tip: Put on your favorite "Weird Al" Yankovic song. Trust me, it adds a certain...je ne sais quoi to the artistic process.
Step 2: Laying the Foundation (Literally)
Imagine your Walmart as a giant rectangle. Yes, I know, groundbreaking. Sketch this bad boy lightly on your paper. Don't worry about perfect lines; we're going for the "abstract Walmart experiencing a minor earthquake" vibe.
Bonus points: Add a slight curve to the top of the rectangle. This represents the subtle, yet undeniable, air of superiority Walmart exudes over all other discount stores.
Step 3: Let's Get Triangular! (Because Apparently Rectangles Are Boring)
Now, things get exciting. We're adding the entrance! Imagine an isosceles triangle sticking out from the bottom of your rectangle. Don't worry about perfect measurements – just eyeball it. After all, Walmart isn't known for its architectural precision (unless you count the strategic placement of impulse buy displays).
Feeling fancy? Make the triangle slightly wider at the base for that extra "welcoming shoppers" touch.
Step 4: Door Time, Baby!
Who needs fancy doorknobs when you have automatic doors? Draw two vertical lines coming down from the tip of your triangle. These are your majestic automatic doors, ready to usher in hordes of bargain hunters.
Pro Tip: Feeling particularly artistic? Add a squiggly line above the doors to represent the magical sensor that opens them with the wave of a shopping cart.
Step 5: Windows to the Discount Soul
Walmart wouldn't be Walmart without its endless rows of windows showcasing the latest in discounted socks and questionable electronics. Here's where you get to unleash your inner Jackson Pollock (minus the paint flinging). Draw a bunch of squares or rectangles along the top half of your rectangle. Don't worry about spacing or uniformity – chaos is key!
Feeling fancy? Add a few diagonal lines coming down from the bottom corners of some windows. These represent the fancy window blinds they totally have at Walmart.
Step 6: The Grand Finale: The Iconic Sparkly Sun!
No Walmart is complete without its beacon of low prices: the giant yellow sun with a smiley face. Draw a big circle in the top corner of your masterpiece. Fill it in with yellow crayon (or the nearest yellow object you can find). Don't forget to add a wonky smile and those oh-so-important rays!
Feeling fancy? Add a few squiggles around the sun to represent the magical aura of savings that permeates every Walmart.
Step Back and Admire Your Work!
There you have it! You've just drawn a Walmart that's both aesthetically pleasing and frighteningly accurate. Now you can hang it on the fridge (because let's face it, you're not getting into the MoMA with this one) and bask in the glory of your artistic achievement. Remember, even if it looks more like a kindergarten finger painting gone wrong, hey, at least you can say you drew Walmart!
