How to Snag the Coveted Blue Badge on Instagram in 2021: A Guide for the (Slightly) Delusional
Ah, the blue tick. The holy grail of Instagram. The tiny checkmark that separates the mere mortals from the Beyonc�s of the app. But fear not, fellow social media enthusiast! While getting verified might seem about as likely as running into Bigfoot doing yoga, with a dash of cunning and a sprinkle of self-importance, you too can be gracing the feed with that illustrious blue emblem.
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| How To Get Blue Tick In Instagram 2021 |
Step 1: Cultivate an Aura of Extreme Importance (Optional: Hire a Beard of Importance)
They say it's what's on the inside that counts, but Instagram verification? It's all about the facade. First things first, you need to convince Instagram that you're so important, impersonators are lurking around every corner, just waiting to steal your breakfast smoothie recipe.
QuickTip: Reread tricky spots right away.
- Name Change is the Game: Ditch your childhood nickname and replace it with something more...influencer-y. "The_Carb_Whisperer3000" just doesn't scream "verification material," does it?
- Entourage, Assemble!: Ever wondered why those A-listers are always surrounded by people? It's not just for moral support (although that probably helps). It's to show importance, my friend! Round up your most photogenic friends and tell them you need them for a "top secret project" (a.k.a strategically placed comments and likes).
Bonus points for hiring a beard of importance (think monocle, tweed jacket, air of vague disapproval).
QuickTip: Revisit posts more than once.
Step 2: Content is King (or Queen, or Non-Binary Royalty)
Now, content. It's kind of a big deal on this app they call Instagram. Here's where you get to unleash your inner creative genius (or pay someone on Fiverr to do it for you).
Tip: Stop when you find something useful.
- Post Like a Paparazzi on Red Bull: Quantity is key! Inundate your followers with a constant stream of content. Breakfast? Post it. Sunset? Post it. Your existential dread about the meaning of life? Surprisingly, probably don't post that.
- Channel Your Inner National Geographic: Ever dreamt of attending a glamorous event in Monaco? No problem! Just recreate it in your backyard with some strategic lighting, a strategically placed pool float, and a strategically blurred friend in a suspiciously fancy hat. Because hey, if it looks real on Instagram, that's all that matters, right?
Remember, even the most mundane can be made magical with the right filter (and copious amounts of squinting).
Tip: Keep your attention on the main thread.
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Step 3: The Verification Dance - Apply, Rinse, Repeat (Maybe Cry a Little)
Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for: The Application. Here's where things get a little less glamorous and a little more "filling out online forms."
- Be Honest (ish): Okay, maybe don't confess to that time you accidentally live-streamed your attempt to bake a souffle (it ended...explosively). But for the most part, be truthful (within reason).
- Patience is a Virtue (Unless You're a Kardashian): Don't expect a notification popping up with a fanfare of trumpets the second you hit submit. Verification can take weeks, months, or let's be honest, forever. In the meantime, channel your inner zen master and focus on the more important things, like perfecting your selfie pout.
There you have it, folks! Your one-stop guide to achieving ultimate Instagram clout (and maybe, just maybe, a blue badge). Remember, a little delusion, a lot of content, and a dash of perseverance can take you far. Now go forth and conquer the algorithm!
P.S. If all else fails, there's always the option of befriending a celebrity and strategically photobombing them. Just sayin'.
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