Operation Blue Badge: Your Hilarious Guide to Insta-Fame (circa 2020)
Ah, the coveted blue badge. That little checkmark on Instagram that separates the mere mortals from the mega-influencers, the celebrities from the...well, other celebrities with slightly less dramatic breakups. But fear not, fellow social media warriors, for in this guide, we shall crack the code (or at least learn to photoshop a convincing one).
QuickTip: Read line by line if it’s complex.
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| How To Get A Blue Tick On Instagram 2020 |
Step 1: Assess Your "Instafame-ometer"
Tip: Absorb, don’t just glance.
- You have more followers than your entire graduating class: Ding ding ding! You might be on the right track.
- Your parents ask who all these people are in your photos: Ouch. Back to the drawing board.
- Local pigeons recognize you for your daily breadcrumb offerings: While impressive, this isn't quite the fame Instagram is looking for.
Step 2: Cultivate Your "Persona," Because Nobody Likes a Nobody
QuickTip: Look for contrasts — they reveal insights.
- Are you a hilarious meme lord? Perfect! Post relatable content that has people spitting out their almond milk lattes.
- Do you have a pet that does tricks? Train that furry friend to write your name in ketchup on the counter. #Talented
- Are you secretly a world-renowned underwater basket weaver? Now's your time to shine! Document your process (wet hands and all) for maximum intrigue.
Step 3: The Art of the Humblebrag (It's a Fine Art, Really)
Tip: Use this post as a starting point for exploration.
- Casually name-drop that time you totally saw [insert celebrity here] at the grocery store. (Even if it was just a poster.)
- Post a picture of your overflowing inbox with messages from "brands." (Those discount sock companies do count, right?)
- Accidentally let it slip that you were interviewed for a news segment about...well, you! (Maybe your neighbor was impressed by your sock collection?)
Step 4: Verification Submission: The Moment of Truth (Maybe)
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- Fill out the form with unwavering confidence. You are a star, after all!
- For the ID verification, photo-shop your face onto a driver's license for [insert country with lax verification laws here]. Just kidding! (Please don't do that.)
- Write a heartfelt plea to the Instagram gods, promising to use your newfound power for good. (Translation: more cat videos.)
Step 5: The Waiting Game (and How Not to Lose Your Mind)
- Constantly refresh your profile. The blue badge will magically appear any second now!
- Slide into your best friend's DMs with a passive-aggressive "Still waiting on that verification, Insta..." They'll surely understand.
- Channel your nervous energy into even more hilarious content. The world needs more laughter, anyway.
Important Disclaimer: This guide is purely for comedic purposes. There's no guaranteed path to verification, and buying followers is a big no-no. But hey, if you follow these steps and a sprinkle of genuine creativity, who knows? You might just become Instagram famous (or at least entertain your small but loyal following).
Bonus Tip: If all else fails, befriend a verified person and convince them to accidentally tag you in a post. Just a thought.
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