How to Snag That Coveted Blue Badge on Instagram (According to Reddit, Not Reality)
Ah, the blue tick. The holy grail of Instagram. The tiny checkmark that separates the mere mortals from the mega-influencers, the celebrities, the guys (or gals) who can get a banana peel to trend. But fear not, fellow memer! Because according to the wisdom of the Reddit scholars (and a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek humor), there are several totally legit, absolutely foolproof ways to land yourself that verification badge.
Step 1: Be Beyonce (or at least pretend to be)
QuickTip: Read again with fresh eyes.
- Subheading 1: Channel your inner Sasha Fierce - It all boils down to one thing: authenticity. Be yourself! Just, you know, the version of yourself who runs in A-list circles, has a private jet on speed dial, and owns a pet tiger (because apparently that's what the cool kids are doing these days).
Step 2: Master the Art of Social Media Shenanigans
Tip: Summarize each section in your own words.
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- Subheading 2: Hashtag Havoc - Apparently, the key is to drown your captions in a tsunami of hashtags. We're talking #blessed, #livingmybestlife, #verifiedordie (because subtlety is for the weak, clearly). The more hashtags, the more confused the Instagram algorithm will get, right? And in its utter bewilderment, it might just throw a verification badge your way to appease the nonsensical vortex you've created.
- Subheading 3: The Follow Frenzy - Now, here's where things get interesting. Forget following interesting accounts. You gotta follow EVERYONE. From your grandma's knitting circle to that guy who keeps posting pictures of his pet rock collection (hey, no judgment). Surely, with a follower count that rivals a small nation's population, Instagram will have no choice but to acknowledge your, ahem, "importance."
Step 3: Befriend a Time Traveler (Optional)
QuickTip: Scan for summary-style sentences.
- Look, there's always the chance that verification applications are just a big, cosmic joke. In that case, your best bet is to find someone with a DeLorean and a spare flux capacitor. Zip yourself forward a few years, become a massive celebrity in the future, then hop back to 2022 and enjoy the instant verification that comes with past, present, and future fame. Easy peasy!
Disclaimer: Folks, while these methods were gleaned from the wonderful world of Reddit, there's a good chance they might land you on the "How to Get Your Account Suspended" list rather than the coveted verified one. The real key to verification? Quality content, a dedicated following, and a whole lot of patience. But hey, who wants to wait when you can unleash the power of nonsensical hashtags and imaginary tiger companions, right?
QuickTip: Focus more on the ‘how’ than the ‘what’.
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