How to Snag that Elusive Blue Tick on Insta (Even If You Have the Follower Count of a Particularly Boring PTA Meeting)
Let's face it, folks, the blue tick is the Instagram equivalent of royalty. It's like a virtual crown that screams, "I've Made It (and by 'It' I mean I post pictures of my breakfast a lot)". But what if you're not a Kardashian, a pop star, or even the guy who makes those hypnotizing latte art videos? Fear not, fellow low-follower friends! Here's your hilarious (and slightly tongue-in-cheek) guide to convincing Instagram you deserve that verification badge.
Step 1: Craft a Bio Worthy of Shakespeare (or at Least a Local Book Club)
First things first, your bio needs a makeover. Forget emojis and inspirational quotes about sunsets. We're talking bold keywords, people! Are you a "Social Media Enthusiast" (read: meme hoarder)? A "Culinary Artist" (read: microwaved pizza connoisseur)? SHOVE IT IN THERE. Underline it for emphasis, if you must. Just remember, the more impressive you sound, the better your chances of fooling... I mean, informing Instagram of your undeniable clout.
Tip: Take mental snapshots of important details.
Step 2: Become a Master of the Hashtag Hustle
Hashtags are your gateway to verification glory, my friends. Don't just throw in #blessed and #OOTD. Think niche, think specific. #WorldsSmallestCollectionofAntiqueSpoons or #GuyWhoCanNameEverySingleSpiceInYourCabinet - the more obscure, the better. Who knows, maybe you'll accidentally invent a viral hashtag and land yourself on Ellen. (Okay, that last bit might be a stretch, but hey, gotta dream big, right?)
QuickTip: Take a pause every few paragraphs.
Step 3: Befriend Celebrities (Figuratively, Unless You Actually Know a Kardashian)
Okay, so this might be a tall order, but hear me out. Like and comment on every single post by your favorite celebs (using those strategic hashtags, of course). Maybe even slide into their DMs with a hilarious (but not creepy) meme. If they acknowledge you - BAM! Instant verification by association. (Disclaimer: This strategy is not guaranteed to work. In fact, it might just get you blocked. But hey, you gotta take risks, right?)
QuickTip: Stop to think as you go.
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Step 4: Fake It 'Til You Make It (But Not Too Much)
Let's be honest, a little self-promotion never hurt anyone. Act like you already have that blue tick. Casually mention interviews you're "doing" or awards you're "up for" (even if they're just imaginary). Post paparazzi-style photos of yourself walking to the mailbox (because clearly, that level of fame warrants such documentation). Remember, confidence is key! (Just don't go overboard and accidentally catfish your entire follower base.)
Tip: The details are worth a second look.
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| How To Get Blue Tick On Instagram With Less Followers |
Step 5: Be Patient (ish)
Okay, so maybe these tactics won't have Instagram scrambling to verify you overnight. But hey, at least you'll be entertaining your handful of followers (and maybe even confusing Mark Zuckerberg himself). Who knows, with enough persistence (and questionable life choices), that blue tick might just be in your grasp!
Remember, folks, this guide is mostly intended for laughs. But hey, if you accidentally stumble into verification by following these tips, well then, consider me your internet spirit guide.
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