The Quest for the Elusive Blue Tick: A Facebook Fairytale (Without the Fairy Godmother)
Ah, the blue tick. That little badge of honor, a beacon of internet fame (or so your grandma thinks). It's the Instagram crown, the Twitter checkmark, the Facebook gold star for the truly, ridiculously online. But my friends, acquiring this coveted symbol is no walk in the park. It's a perilous journey, fraught with peril and disappointment (and probably way too much time spent staring at your follower count).
Fear not, fellow meme-lords and cat-video connoisseurs! For I, your friendly neighborhood internet guide (with zero verifications of my own, but hey, knowledge is power!), am here to unveil the secrets of the blue tick.
 |
| How To Get A Blue Tick On My Fb Account |
Step 1: Be Someone Important (or at Least Pretend to Be)
This is where things get tricky. Facebook isn't handing out blue ticks like participation trophies. You gotta be a public figure. A politician? Great! A celebrity cat? Now you're talking! But what if you're just, well, you? Don't despair! Channel your inner Beyonce and fake it till you make it.
Tip: Reread if it feels confusing.
- Start a niche movement: "Society for the Preservation of Leftover Pizza" anyone?
- Become a local legend: Win your town's pie-eating contest three years in a row? Document it!
- Claim to be a distant relative of a vaguely famous person: Your great-great-great-aunt Mildred did once bake a pie for Abraham Lincoln? Shout it from the rooftops (or Facebook profile)!
Remember: The key is to convince Facebook you're interesting enough for people to impersonate you. Shifty, yes. Effective? Maybe.
Step 2: Polish Your Profile Like a Knight Shines His Armor
Looking like a thirteen-year-old with questionable taste in inspirational quotes won't cut it. Clean up your profile.
Tip: Pause whenever something stands out.
- Ditch the blurry bathroom selfies: People want to see the real you, not your shower curtain.
- Nix the negativity: Nobody wants a verified Debbie Downer.
- Post awesome content (ideally, stuff that goes viral): Cat videos are a classic, but maybe try something with a bit more...pizazz?
Basically, make your profile scream "I am a beacon of light in this crazy world!" Even if that light comes from a strategically placed ring light.
 |
Step 3: Submit Your Request (and Then Pray to the Facebook Gods)
Once you've mastered the art of online importance and profile curation, it's time to submit your verification request. This is where things get a little mysterious. Facebook keeps their verification criteria close to the vest, but here are a few unofficial tips:
QuickTip: Pay attention to first and last sentences.
- Include lots of links to news articles or other media mentions (even if they're from your local PTA newsletter).
- Pray to Mark Zuckerberg nightly with offerings of Fritos and Diet Coke (hey, it can't hurt).
- Cross your fingers and maybe do a little rain dance for good measure.
Remember: Verification is a fickle mistress. You might get it on your first try, or you might be stuck in verification purgatory for months. Just be patient (and maybe a little shameless in your self-promotion).
So You Got the Blue Tick. Now What?
Congratulations! You've officially reached internet royalty (sort of). But with great power comes great responsibility. Here are some friendly reminders for your newly verified life:
QuickTip: Reflect before moving to the next part.
- Don't take yourself too seriously: Remember, it's just a blue tick.
- Use your platform for good (or at least amusement): Share funny memes, important causes, or pictures of your cat wearing a tiny hat. The world is your oyster!
- Don't become a jerk: Power corrupts, even internet power.
The blue tick is a journey, not a destination. So get out there, be your most fabulous self, and maybe, just maybe, Facebook will recognize your brilliance. And if they don't? Well, at least you'll have a killer Facebook profile and a participation trophy from the "Leftover Pizza Preservation Society."
 |
