My Dog Ate My Weed Brownies: A Hilarious Guide to Unstoning Your Canine Companion (and Maybe Yourself)
Hey frients [internet slang for friends], ever come home to find your favorite four-legged friend with a glazed look in their eyes and a suspiciously empty bag of brownies on the floor? No? Just me then? Well, consider this a public service announcement (PSA) for all the clumsy stoners and curious pups out there.
 |
| How To Get A Dog Unstoned Reddit |
How Did We Get Here?
We all know the drill. You leave those tempting treats on the counter for a split second, turn your back to grab a refreshing beverage, and poof! Your pup, with the grace of a baby giraffe on roller skates, has inhaled your stress-relief brownies like a canine Dyson. Don't panic! We've all been there.
Tip: Jot down one takeaway from this post.
Here's the thing to remember: freaking out won't help your dog (or your anxiety). We need to approach this situation with the calmness of a Buddhist monk and the resourcefulness of MacGyver.
Tip: Remember, the small details add value.
Step 1: Assess the Situation
-
How baked is your buddy? Is your dog walking in slow motion with a permanent case of the zoomies? Are they staring intently at the ceiling fan, convinced it's a personal helicopter service? The level of intoxication will determine the course of action.
-
How much did they devour? A nibble or two probably won't send your pup on a psychedelic trip to Paw-tato Land. However, a whole brownie might have them redecorating your living room with a newfound appreciation for drool-worthy abstract art.
Step 2: Operation Un-Bake Your Pup
-
Just say no to vet bills (for now). Unless your dog is exhibiting worrying symptoms (seizures, vomiting), a trip to the vet might not be necessary. For mild cases, we can manage this at home, Scooby-Doo style.
-
Induce some munchies (the good kind). Get your pup's stomach working by offering some non-psychoactive munchies. Plain bread, yogurt, or cooked chicken are easy on the digestive system and will help absorb any lingering THC.
-
Hydration is key. A dry mouth can worsen the effects of marijuana for dogs. Offer fresh, cool water and encourage your pup to take small sips.
-
Netflix and chill (out). Find a comfy spot for your pup and cuddle up with a movie marathon. The familiar routine and your calming presence will ease their anxiety.
Pro-tip: Skip movies with flickering lights or trippy visuals. Your pup's brain is already on a wild ride, no need for an IMAX experience.
QuickTip: Skim for bold or italicized words.
Step 3: Futureproofing Your Furry Friend
-
Become a master organizer. Treats and edibles need to be stored like top-secret documents. Invest in airtight containers and childproof cabinets. Remember, curiosity killed the cat (and almost got your dog high).
-
Educate yourself and your family. Everyone who lives with your pup needs to be aware of the dangers of marijuana intoxication. Share this knowledge (and maybe this hilarious post) to avoid future brownie-related incidents.
The Aftermath: Lessons Learned (and Maybe a Little Laughter)
Let's face it, this whole ordeal is a rollercoaster of emotions. There's the initial panic, the inevitable giggles (because let's be real, watching a stoned dog is comedic gold), and the relief when your pup finally sobers up.
QuickTip: Treat each section as a mini-guide.
The important takeaway? We all make mistakes, even our furry companions. By staying calm, taking the right steps, and maybe taking a few funny videos for posterity, you can navigate this situation like a pro.
And hey, if all else fails, there's always the option of ordering a pizza and joining your pup on their psychedelic journey. Just remember to blame the munchies for the extra-large order.
 |
