So You Want Egbert, Eh? A Guide to Snagging This Legendary Blade (Without Getting Stabbed)
Ah, Egbert. The name alone conjures images of gleaming steel, epic Viking battles, and leaving a trail of stunned enemies in your wake. But fear not, aspiring Eivor, for this legendary Ulfberht sword can be yours! Just follow this totally reliable (and hilarious, if I do say so myself) guide, and you'll be a stun-locking machine in no time.
Step 1: Embrace Your Inner Sherlock (But with Less Pipe and More Axe)
Our first stop is the delightful region of Melunois. Look for a place called Pruvinis – a charming little fort, absolutely crawling with heavily armed chaps. Just your average Parisian vacation spot, really.
QuickTip: A careful read saves time later.
Pro-Tip: Don't bother booking a room. Stealth is your best friend here. Scale the southern wall, because who needs the front door anyway? You're a Viking, not a doorman.
Step 2: Interrogation Techniques 101 (Viking Edition)
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Once inside, you'll find some rather grumpy fellows. Now, you can take the "smashy smashy" approach, but there's a more cultured way. Locate a soldier with a key – a little light persuasion (read: an axe to the knee) might be necessary to loosen their grip on it.
Step 3: Follow the Crumbs (or the Blue Cloth)
Reminder: Revisit older posts — they stay useful.
With key in hand, unleash your inner Odin and use Odin's Sight to spot a delightful blue cloth with a cryptic message. Consider it a treasure map, but with less "X marks the spot" and more "rhymes with smother."
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Step 4: The Moral Conundrum (or How to Not Get Shanked)
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Following the map's not-so-subtle clues, you'll find a rather unfortunate situation. Turns out, two fellas stumbled upon Egbert, and let's just say things got a little "Stabby McStabberson" for one of them.
Here's where things get interesting. You can:
- Option A: The Diplomat – Use your silver tongue (and hopefully high Charisma) to convince the remaining fellow to part with the sword. Think of it as a win-win! You get a shiny new toy, and he gets to avoid a visit from Odin (the not-so-friendly kind).
- Option B: The Capitalist – Feeling flush with silver? You can always buy the sword. Just remember, haggling is practically a Viking birthright.
- Option C: The Bloodthirsty – Listen, if the first two options don't tickle your fancy, there's always good old-fashioned Viking justice. Just be prepared for a bit of a scrap.
Step 5: Behold! Egbert is Yours! (Now Go Forth and Stun)
Congratulations! You've successfully snagged Egbert. Now go forth and stun some enemies! Remember, with great power comes great responsibility (and the occasional bout of accidental self-stunning, but that's all part of the learning curve).
Bonus Tip: Owning a legendary sword is cool and all, but don't forget to sharpen your wit along with your blade. A charismatic Viking is a far more fearsome foe (and way more fun to play) than a blunt one.
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