The Unbearable Blueness of Being Verified: How to Ditch Your Instagram Blue Tick (and Maybe Regain Your Sanity)
Ah, the coveted blue tick. A symbol of fame, fortune, and... unwanted attention in your DMs? If your once-charming verification badge now feels more like a neon sign screaming "Hey, bother me!" then fret no more, fellow social media weary traveler. Here's your survival guide to shedding the blue and reclaiming your Insta-peace.
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| How To Get Rid Of Blue Tick On Instagram |
Step 1: Embrace the Humblebrag
Tip: Pause whenever something stands out.
First things first, acknowledge your former glory. Casually drop a line about your "brief stint with the verified life" or how you're taking a "sabbatical from blue." Bold some irrelevant detail about an A-list acquaintance (namedropping a spatula used by a celebrity chef works wonders). Remember, a little mystery goes a long way.
QuickTip: Reread for hidden meaning.
Step 2: Befriend the Algorithm Gods
The verification gods may have forsaken you, but the algorithm gods are fickle creatures. Shower them with content! Post blurry pictures of your cat mid-nap, invest in a banana costume (because why not?), and write captions that would make a Kardashian cringe. Underline the importance of sheer volume. Drown out the silence (and the desperate pleas from brands to collaborate on sponsored posts) with a barrage of, well, stuff.
Tip: Keep the flow, don’t jump randomly.
Step 3: Channel Your Inner Sherlock Holmes
There's no official "unverify me" button (shocking, right?), but a little detective work can go a long way. Scour Instagram's dusty corners for any obscure rule you might have accidentally violated. Did you use an emoji that's no longer fashionable? Did you unknowingly diss a pigeon in a past post? Leave no meme unturned!
QuickTip: Skim for bold or italicized words.
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Step 4: Embrace the Power of Passive Aggression
Subtlety is your new best friend. Start following meme accounts that poke fun at influencer culture. Like comments that jokingly question the validity of verification badges. Italicize the word "just saying." Let the internet do its work, my friend.
Step 5: Find Your Tribe (and Maybe a Therapist)
Remember, verification doesn't define you (though it might get you a free smoothie at that trendy a�ai place). Reconnect with the friends who followed you before the blue tick, the ones who loved your cat pictures (even the blurry ones). Rejoin the real world, breathe the unfiltered air, and remember, a life less blue can be a life well-lived.
Disclaimer: There's no guarantee this will actually remove your blue tick, but it'll definitely make you laugh (and maybe terrify your social media manager).
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