The ULTIMATE Guide to Snagging that Coveted Insta-Crown (or Blue Tick, Whatever)
Let's face it, folks, the blue tick on Instagram is the Holy Grail of social media cred. It's like a digital knighting ceremony, transforming you from a mere peasant scrolling to a regal content creator. But my friends, the path to verification is shrouded in mystery, as closely guarded as the Colonel's secret blend of herbs and spices. Fear not, for I, your friendly neighborhood social media guru (with a dash of sarcasm), am here to crack the code.
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| How To Get S Blue Tick On Instagram |
Step 1: Be Beyonce (or at Least Related to Her)
Key Ingredient: Notoriety that Makes People Search Your Name in Terror (of Missing a Post)
This might seem like a tall order, but have you considered strategically befriending a beekeeper and live-streaming your daily struggle to avoid getting stung? People LOVE drama, and let's be honest, a near-death experience with a fuzzy friend would definitely get you noticed. Just be sure to tag @Beyonce in the post for maximum impact. You never know, maybe Queen Bey herself will take pity and vouch for you.
QuickTip: Stop scrolling fast, start reading slow.
Pro Tip: Channel your inner Kardashian and document your every move. Who knows, maybe a rogue selfie with a rogue foot in the frame will be your claim to fame.
Step 2: Master the Art of Appearing Busy (Even When You're Re-Watching The Office for the 12th Time)
Essential Tools: A never-ending stream of friends, family, and vaguely recognizable acquaintances, a surplus of disposable coffee cups (because busy people drink a LOT of coffee).
Tip: Read aloud to improve understanding.
The algorithm loves an active account, and there's no better way to show your hustle than constantly being on-the-go. Think strategically placed paparazzi-esque photos of you "working late" (which is really just you at your local coffee shop with a suspiciously empty laptop screen). Don't forget to strategically name-drop business meetings and important deadlines (even if those deadlines involve returning that library book you borrowed a year ago).
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Word of Caution: Avoid accidentally posting a boomerang of yourself luxuriating in your pajamas. Verification seekers have no time for relaxation.
Tip: Reread sections you didn’t fully grasp.
Step 3: Befriend Influencers (Even Your Local Dog Walker Counts)
Secret Weapon: The power of association.
Let's face it, verification is a bit like a high school cafeteria. You want to sit with the cool kids, and influencers are the undisputed cool kids of Instagram. So, it's time to unleash your inner social butterfly and start strategically commenting on influencer posts. A witty remark here, a supportive emoji there – who knows, maybe one day they'll take pity on you and give you a shoutout.
Tip: Highlight sentences that answer your questions.
Important Note: Begging for endorsements and desperate pleas of "OMG I love your shoes!" will likely backfire. Play it cool, act natural, and maybe offer to walk their dog in exchange for a quick Insta story mention.
Remember, verification is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay dedicated, hone your craft, and who knows, maybe one day you'll wake up to that beautiful blue tick gleaming beside your username. But hey, if all else fails, there's always the option of strategically placing a blue sticker next to your name in your bio. I won't judge.
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