How to Totally (Legally) Swindle Instagram into Giving You That Sweet Verification Badge (Subscription Not Included, Mostly)
Let's face it, folks, the blue checkmark on Instagram is the ultimate status symbol. It's like a participation trophy for the cool kids' club of the internet. But here's the rub: scoring verification used to be like accidentally getting hit on by Beyonce at a grocery store - totally unexpected and awesome. Now? Well, let's just say Instagram's onto us mere mortals and thrown a bit of a wrench into the system. Enter Meta Verified, the subscription service that promises verification for a cool monthly fee (because, you know, authenticity has a price tag these days).
But fret not, dear reader! There are still ways to outsmart the system, or at least make ourselves feel better about not dropping cash on a virtual blue tick. Here's your not-so-official guide to getting verified without, well, subscribing:
1. Become So Notorious They Practically Have to Verify You
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.![]()
- Subheading 1: The Celebrity Criminal Caper
This option requires a certain...je ne sais quoi...that most of us lack. Involve yourself in a thrilling international art heist, perhaps become the mastermind behind a daring diamond smuggling ring (not recommended, but hey, if it gets you verified...). Just remember, with great notoriety comes great responsibility (and possibly jail time).
- Subheading 2: Master the Art of the Hilariously Offensive
Alternatively, become the reigning king or queen of internet roasts. If your witty barbs and scathing social commentary can bring celebrities to their knees, Instagram might just have to verify you to, you know, contain the chaos. Just be prepared for the potential wrath of the internet if your jokes miss the mark.
QuickTip: Revisit posts more than once.![]()
How To Get Verified On Instagram Subscription |
2. Unleash Your Inner Sherlock Holmes
Tip: Highlight sentences that answer your questions.![]()
- Subheading 1: Befriend Literally Everyone Who Is Verified
Okay, this might be a stretch, but it can't hurt to try, right? Slide into those celebrity DMs, offer to be their social media manager (for free, of course!), become their biggest fan. Maybe, just maybe, some of that verification dust will rub off on you.
- Subheading 2: Hire a Verification Fairy Godmother (Probably Not a Thing, But We Can Dream)
The internet is a vast and mysterious place. Who knows, maybe there's a black market for verification out there somewhere? While this approach is definitely not recommended (and most likely a scam), it does make for a fantastical story if nothing else.
QuickTip: Stop and think when you learn something new.![]()
3. Embrace the Unverified Life
- Subheading 1: The Underdog's Anthem
Look, there's something undeniably cool about being verified. But there's also something freeing about being an unverified maverick. You don't have to worry about maintaining a certain image, and your content can be as gloriously weird or wonderful as you are.
- Subheading 2: Plus, You Save Money (For Important Things, Like That Pile of Funko Pops You've Been Eying)
Think of all the avocado toast you can buy with the money you're not spending on Meta Verified! Besides, isn't true validation the kind that comes from your actual followers, anyway?
So there you have it, folks! While that coveted blue checkmark might seem out of reach, remember, Instagram isn't the only place where you can be awesome. Stay true to yourself, create killer content, and maybe, just maybe, verification will come knocking (or, you know, accidentally follow you). Until then, rock that unverified badge with pride!