How to Get Verified on Twitter (Before Elon Musk Turned Verification into a Participation Trophy) : A Guide for the Fallen
Ah, the coveted blue checkmark. In the Before Times (B.E.), it was a symbol of prestige, a mark of distinction reserved for the chosen few: celebrities, politicians, your grandma's cat who accidentally went viral with a napping selfie.
But then, Elon rolled in with his rockets and his Dogecoins, and verification became as common as pigeons in a park. Now, all you need is a credit card and a dream (and maybe a slightly inflated sense of self-importance). But for those of us who yearn for the historical significance of B.E. verification, well, we're left reminiscing about the good ol' days.
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So, how did one achieve verification in the golden age of Twitter? It wasn't for the faint of heart. It was a mysterious process, shrouded in secrecy and fueled by rumors. Here's what we (think we) know:
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- Be Important (or at least pretend to be): This was the golden rule. Politicians? Check. Celebrities? Double check. Even your local weatherman with a cult following had a shot. The key? Make sure people were talking about you, and not because you accidentally set your kitchen on fire while filming a life hack video.
- Cultivate an Air of Mystery: Don't reveal your verification application process! Let people wonder, let them speculate. Were you secretly a billionaire in disguise? Maybe a government spy with top-secret information? The possibilities were endless!
- Befriend a Twitter Insider (Optional): This was like having a cheat code. Did your uncle's neighbor's cousin know a guy who knew a guy at Twitter? Cash in those favors, because a friendly nudge from the inside could be the golden ticket.
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| How To Get Verified On Twitter Before Elon |
Of course, there were always rumors...
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- The Illuminati: Some whispered that verification was just a ploy by the lizard people to control our thoughts. Let's be honest, this theory held about as much water as a colander, but it sure added to the mystique.
- The Follow Back Frenzy: Did following a bunch of random verification accounts increase your chances? We'll never know for sure, but it definitely made your "Following" list look like a who's who of spam accounts.
The Takeaway: While B.E. verification might be gone, the memories live on. It was a time of struggle, a time of triumph, and a time of questionable life choices made in pursuit of a blue checkmark. So, the next time you see someone with a B.E. verified account, give them a nod of respect. They earned that blue badge the hard way, back when verification was a badge of honor, not a subscription fee.
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