Operation: Wingman Without a Prayer (But Hopefully a Date)
So, your buddy. The one who looks like a lost puppy when a girl smiles at him. The one whose idea of flirting is leaving a bag of chips on a girl's doorstep (romantic, right?). Yeah, him. He needs a girlfriend, and you, my friend, are about to become his own personal Cyrano de Bergerac, minus the panache and impressive nose.
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| How To Get Your Friend A Girlfriend |
Step 1: Assess the Situation
First things first, is your friend even looking for a girlfriend? Maybe he's perfectly content playing video games in his underwear (no judgment). If he is interested in finding his Juliet (or at least a Beatrice), then this guide is for you!
Tip: Read mindfully — avoid distractions.
Subheading: Friend-Zone Blues?
Listen, if your friend has been stuck in the friend zone for longer than a geological era, it might be time for a reality check. Bold truth time: sometimes, the best course of action is to accept defeat and move on. But hey, if he's determined, then let's make him irresistible (or at least, less likely to scare them away).
Tip: Reread the opening if you feel lost.
Step 2: Operation Makeover (Light, Very Light)
We're not suggesting a complete overhaul. Nobody needs a friend who suddenly starts wearing skinny jeans and quoting Nietzsche. But a little sprucing up can't hurt. Help him pick out clothes that fit well and make him feel confident. Maybe a haircut that doesn't resemble a topiary accident.
Subheading: The Art of Conversation (Without Bringing Up His Fantasy Football Team)
Tip: A slow skim is better than a rushed read.
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This is where things get tricky. Does your friend have the social skills of a startled badger? Teach him some conversation starters that don't involve video game lore or obscure dinosaur facts. Encourage him to ask questions, listen attentively (and try not to look at your phone) and for the love of all things holy, avoid mentioning his extensive My Little Pony collection on a first date.
Step 3: The Big Night (Without the Big Jitters)
So you've found a potential match, and your friend has (hopefully) refrained from talking about his impressive sock collection. Now comes the date. Be there for him, but don't hover like a nervous pigeon. Maybe suggest a fun activity that takes the pressure off, like bowling (who doesn't love a little friendly competition?) or grabbing some food at a casual place.
QuickTip: Scan for summary-style sentences.
Subheading: Escape Plan
Things aren't going well? Your friend spilled his drink trying to impress her with a magic trick? This is your moment, Wingman! Distract her with a well-timed "Hey, isn't that [celebrity they vaguely recognize] over there?" This allows your friend to make a graceful escape (and maybe practice his magic tricks on a less judgmental audience, like a sock puppet).
Remember: There's no guaranteed formula for love, but with a little wingman magic (and maybe a lot of practice), your friend might just find his happily ever after. Just be prepared for the possibility that he might thank you by finally cleaning his room. Hey, you can't win them all!
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