So You Bought a Walmart Skateboard: From Wobbly Rider to Ollie King (Maybe)
Let's face it, we've all been there. You're cruising the aisles of Walmart, minding your own business, when suddenly, a siren song calls out to you: the allure of the impossibly cheap skateboard. Visions of Tony Hawk dance in your head, and before you know it, you're holding a board that looks like it belongs in a museum exhibit titled "Early Attempts at Human Flight."
Fear not, intrepid skater! While a Walmart board might not exactly be the gold standard, with a little duct tape, elbow grease, and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor, you can transform this discount deck into a semi-respectable ride.
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| How To Make Walmart Skateboard Better |
Step 1: Embrace the Wobble (It's Character Building)
First things first, get ready to wobble. Like, seriously wobble. This board will test your ankles in ways they never imagined. But hey, think of it as pre-hab for the real deal. Plus, the surprised shrieks of onlookers as you narrowly avoid wiping out are sure to be hilarious (for them, at least).
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Pro Tip: If you're feeling fancy, you can decorate your helmet with a sign that says "Wobbly Rider on Board." It'll warn others and add a touch of flair to your, uh, unique riding style.
Step 2: Befriend Your Local Skate Shop (They'll Need You)
Now, let's be honest, those Walmart wheels ain't exactly built for speed (or, for that matter, stopping). So, head to your local skate shop and be prepared to make some friends. They'll likely be speechless at the sight of your board, but don't worry, they've seen it all.
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Ask them nicely (and maybe offer to sweep the floor for a week) for some new wheels and bearings. These will make a world of difference, and trust us, your ankles will thank you.
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Bonus points: If you manage to impress the shop staff with your dedication and comedic timing, they might even throw in a discount on some protective gear. Because let's face it, you're gonna need it.
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Step Step 3: Practice Makes...Well, It Won't Make Perfect, But It'll Be Fun
Now that your board is (slightly) less terrifying, it's time to hit the pavement! Remember, falling is part of the journey. Embrace the scrapes, the bruises, and the inevitable laughter from your friends (because let's be real, watching someone learn to skateboard is never not entertaining).
Here are some totally achievable tricks to practice:
Tip: Don’t skip the details — they matter.
- The dismount: This involves gracefully jumping off your board before it decides to launch you into oblivion.
- The stationary ollie: This involves pretending to do an ollie while remaining firmly planted on the ground. (Hey, it's a start!)
- The dramatic fall: This one involves flailing your limbs wildly and contorting your body in ways that would make a contortionist jealous.
Remember: Progress takes time. Don't get discouraged if you don't land a kickflip on your first try (or your tenth, or your hundredth). Just keep practicing, laugh at yourself, and enjoy the ride. After all, that's what skateboarding is all about, right?
Disclaimer: This guide is intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not guarantee that following these steps will make you a professional skateboarder. In fact, there's a good chance you'll end up looking more like a flamingo on roller skates than Tony Hawk. But hey, at least you'll have a good story to tell.
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