Need for Speed? A (Slightly Tongue-in-Cheek) Guide to Tesla's Acceleration Boost
Let's face it, you wouldn't be reading this if the idea of launching your Tesla from 0 to 60 in lightning speed didn't tickle your funny bone (or should we say, your inner gearhead?). Teslas are notoriously quick, but for those who crave an extra kick, Acceleration Boost is here to turn your already impressive electric rocket into a downright spaceship.
But before you blast off and leave your bank account in the dust, here's a quick guide to navigating the world of Tesla's Acceleration Boost, complete with a few helpful pointers (and maybe some not-so-helpful warnings).
Is Your Tesla Even Built for Speed?
Hold on there, Maverick. Not all Teslas are created equal. Acceleration Boost is currently available for some Model 3 Long Range and Model Y Long Range configurations. Check your Tesla app under "Upgrades" to see if your car is one of the chosen few. If not, don't despair! There's always the option of impromptu drag races with unsuspecting Priuses at the next red light (we don't recommend this, but hey, we're not here to judge).
The Great Tesla App Purchase: A Click Away from Ludicrous Speed (Almost)
Assuming your Tesla is Acceleration Boost-worthy, it's time to unleash your inner astronaut (or at least someone who appreciates merging effortlessly onto highways). The purchase process is blissfully simple. Just whip out your phone, open the Tesla app, navigate to the "Upgrades" section (because, you know, upgrading is what cool cars do), and find Acceleration Boost. With a tap and a credit card swipe (or a hefty chunk of referral credits, if you've been a good friend and gotten your pals to join the Tesla fam), you're on your way to G-force-inducing glory.
Important Note: Make sure your Tesla is connected to Wi-Fi after purchase. The magic doesn't happen without a little download. Just imagine it as downloading the software for a whole new level of driving fun.
So You've Bought Acceleration Boost... Now What?
Brace yourself. Literally. Acceleration Boost is a noticeable jump in pick-up. We're talking about shaving precious tenths of a second off your 0-60 time. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility (and the potential for a slightly lighter wallet at the next speeding ticket checkpoint).
But Wait, There's More! (The Not-So-Helpful Warnings)
- Speeding is not cool. Seriously, it's dangerous and can get you in trouble. Acceleration Boost is for enjoying the exhilarating power of your Tesla, not turning every drive into a scene from The Fast and the Furious.
- Prepare for some serious neck strain. You might just find yourself glued to the headrest as that Tesla lunges forward. Whiplash is not a fashion statement.
- Your passengers might not appreciate it. Unless they're thrill-seekers themselves, prepare for a chorus of "Whoa!" and "Are we sure this is safe?" on your next joyride.
In Conclusion: To Boost or Not to Boost?
The decision is ultimately yours, but if the thought of leaving even gas-guzzlers in the dust puts a smile on your face, then Acceleration Boost might be the perfect upgrade for your Tesla. Just remember, with great speed comes great responsibility...and maybe a few strategically placed neck pillows for your unsuspecting passengers. Happy (and safe) boosting!