Calling in Sick at Walmart: A Guide for the Dramatically Disinclined (Because Let's Face It, Who Actually Feels Like Adulting When They're Under the Weather?)
So, you woke up with a frog in your throat, a head that feels like it's been used as a soccer ball in a particularly enthusiastic game, and the undeniable urge to burrow under the covers and emerge only when the world (or at least your fever) breaks. But alas, adulting beckons, and specifically, your shift at Walmart. Fear not, fellow warrior of retail! There's a way to inform your comrades of your unfortunate demise... well, not demise exactly, but a temporary incapacitation by the evil overlords of illness.
Enter the glorious portal known as Walmart One (cue dramatic music). This online haven is where you'll report your absence and ensure your heroic absence goes down in the annals of Walmart history (okay, maybe not that dramatic, but hey, every win counts!).
QuickTip: Don’t ignore the small print.![]()
How To Report Absence Walmart Online |
But First, a Word on Timing (Because We Wouldn't Want to Be Rude, Right?)
While there's no need to channel your inner Shakespeare and write a sonnet about your woes, giving your fellow associates a heads-up is the courteous thing to do. Try to call in at least 3 hours before your shift - this gives them time to shuffle the schedule around and avoid a retail apocalypse.
Tip: Slow down at important lists or bullet points.![]()
Now, Let's Get You Logged In, Oh Weary Soldier!
- Head over to Walmart One (because where else would it be?).
- Log in with your WIN and password. (WIN? Yes, that's what they call their employee ID. We're not sure why, but it sounds way cooler than just saying "employee number").
Behold! The Elusive "Report an Absence" Button!
Once logged in, you'll be greeted by a plethora of options (because Walmart One is like a choose-your-own-adventure for adult responsibilities). But fear not, for your keen eyes are searching for the holy grail: The "Report an Absence" button. Click on that bad boy with the fervor of a shopper on Black Friday.
QuickTip: Reread tricky spots right away.![]()
Fill 'Er Up! (But Not With Cold Medicine... Though That Might Be Helpful Too)
Here's where you provide the details of your retail demise. Be honest, but brief. No one needs a play-by-play of your unfortunate bodily functions (unless it's really, really funny, but that's a judgment call for another day).
Tip: Break it down — section by section.![]()
- Select the date of your absence.
- Weep silently (or not so silently) as you enter the date you'll be conquering illness from the comfort of your couch.
- There might be an option to provide a reason for your absence. This is entirely up to you. You can go with the classic "not feeling well," unleash your inner comedian with "sudden onset of polka-dot vision," or just channel your inner secret agent and say "classified mission... for retail dominance... obviously."
And Finally, You Are Free! (Well, Free-ish)
Once you've submitted your absence report, take a deep breath and a swig of that cough syrup (or your beverage of choice). You've done your duty! Now get some rest, recover from whatever villain is attacking your body, and dream of perfectly stocked shelves and happy customers (or at least a future shift that doesn't involve explaining to the hundredth customer why there are no more mini-marshmallows).
Remember: Reporting your absence online is quick, easy, and saves your heroic colleagues from scrambling to fill your shift. So go forth, conquer your illness, and return to the glorious battlefield of retail, ready to face whatever Karen throws your way (figuratively speaking, of course).