Broke and Calling Out: A Hilarious Guide to "Borrowing" from Venmo (Because Let's Be Real, They Don't Do Loans)
**Let's face it, Venmo is the ultimate digital piggy bank for millennials and Gen Z. It's like a magic money dispenser... except, surprise, it doesn't actually dispense money. ****
But fear not, fellow financially challenged friends! While Venmo might not be your knight in shining armor, this guide will equip you with the essential skills to navigate the tricky terrain of "requesting a loan" (wink wink).
Step 1: Assess the Situation (Is Ramen Really an Option?)
Before you unleash your inner loan shark, ask yourself the tough questions. Is it truly a matter of life and death (concert tickets? Probably. Urgent car repair? Absolutely.) OR are you craving that limited-edition avocado toast keychain? (In that case, maybe hit up the side hustle).
Tip: Read slowly to catch the finer details.
 |
| How To Request Loan From Venmo |
Step 2: Choose Your Venmo Victim Wisely
Target your request strategically. Who in your friend group is known for their financial responsibility? Who mysteriously always seems to have an extra $20? Bonus points if they recently got a raise or won the lottery (hey, it happens!)
QuickTip: Reread for hidden meaning.
Step 3: Craft the Perfect Venmo Request
 |
A simple "money plz" just won't cut it. Get creative! Here are some inspirationally hilarious options:
QuickTip: Stop and think when you learn something new.
- "Need funds to bribe the delivery guy into giving me extra ranch. You're basically saving my taste buds."
- "Invested in a revolutionary new company called 'Me Needing Money.' High returns guaranteed (mostly emotional)."
- "Can someone spot me for my 'adulting' fund? Rent, groceries, and that therapy session I've been putting off. Adulting is hard."
Pro Tip: Accompany your request with a gif that perfectly encapsulates your financial despair. A dramatic panda rolling around or a puppy with sad eyes should do the trick.
Step 4: Brace Yourself for the Response (It Might Not Be Pretty)
Be prepared for anything. You might get the hero's welcome and the cash flow you so desperately need. OR you might receive a gentle (or not-so-gentle) reminder that you owe them from last week's pizza night. Either way, take it in stride.
QuickTip: Scroll back if you lose track.
Remember: Laughter is the best medicine (and maybe ramen after all).
Disclaimer: This guide is purely for entertainment purposes. We do not endorse guilt-tripping your friends for money, and we strongly recommend practicing responsible financial habits. But hey, if you manage to score a loan with a hilarious Venmo request, more power to you!
 |
