So You Want to Ditch Your Stocks? A (Slightly Hysterical) Guide to Selling Shares with CommSec
Let's face it, picking winning shares is like trying to predict the weather – you can squint at the charts and mutter incantations all you want, but sometimes a rogue storm (or a surprise celebrity endorsement of fidget spinners) throws everything into chaos. Now you're stuck holding onto shares that are about as exciting as watching paint dry (though, to be fair, watching some particularly lumpy paint application could be entertaining). Fear not, weary investor! This guide will walk you through the glorious process of selling those dud shares with CommSec, all with a healthy dose of humor to distract you from the potential financial meltdown you might be experiencing.
Step 1: Accepting Your Fate (and Finding Your Login)
First things first: Denial is a wonderful coping mechanism, but it won't pay the bills. Take a deep breath, accept that these shares may not be your golden ticket to a private island (yet), and locate your CommSec login details. Was it scrawled on a napkin during a particularly enthusiastic bull market celebration? Did it become one with the dust bunnies under your keyboard? Embrace the archaeological dig – those login details are out there somewhere!
Step 2: The CommSec Website – Friend or Foe?
Congratulations, you've unearthed your login! Now, to navigate the treacherous waters of the CommSec website. Be warned: There will be buttons, menus, and financial jargon that could make a seasoned accountant cry. But fear not, intrepid seller! Remember, even a baby can navigate a maze with enough flailing – and a significant amount of drool. Just channel your inner infant and persevere.
Step 3: "Sell"ing Yourself on Selling
You've found the trading section! Now comes the emotional rollercoaster. Selling can feel like admitting defeat, but reframe it! You're not giving up, you're making a strategic move. Think of it like this: These shares are like a bad date – it's time to cut your losses and move on to someone (or something) with more potential!
Step 4: Placing the Order (The Not-So-Dramatic Part)
Here's where things get (relatively) simple. Input the number of shares you want to sell, pick a fancy order type if you're feeling adventurous (or just stick with the default if you're like, "What even are order types?"), and click that glorious "Sell" button.
Step 5: Victory Dance (Optional, But Highly Recommended)
You've done it! You've sold those pesky shares! Now, depending on your risk tolerance and overall emotional state, you can choose from a variety of celebratory activities. Here are a few suggestions:
- The Low-Key: Make yourself a cup of tea (or your beverage of choice) and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
- The Moderate: Do a victory lap around your house in your underwear. Just make sure the blinds are closed (unless you enjoy confusing the neighbors).
- The Extravagant: Book a weekend getaway to celebrate your newfound financial freedom (or, you know, freedom from those particular shares).
Remember: Selling shares is just one part of the investing journey. There will be ups and downs, so don't be discouraged. And hey, if these shares don't work out, at least you've gained valuable experience (and a newfound appreciation for the thrill – or maybe terror – of the share market).