Behind Bars and Broke? A Hilarious Guide to Inmate Trust Funds
Let's face it, prison isn't exactly a luxury resort. Forget room service, fluffy robes, and those fancy hand soaps they give you at fancy hotels (although, an inmate might really appreciate the last one). Nope, inmates rely on their trusty (pun intended) trust fund for the good stuff: Ramen noodles that haven't expired in 1998, tiny bottles of shampoo that won't win any awards, and maybe even a Snickers bar to keep the hangry monster at bay.
But how exactly do you, the loyal friend, family member, or sugar baby (hey, no judgement!), get money into this magical prison piggy bank? Fear not, for I, your guide to the glamorous world of incarceration finance, am here to break it down.
Finding Out Where the Money Goes (and Doesn't!)
First things first, you need to know where you're sending this cash. Important! Don't just shove a wad of bills in a birthday card and hope for the best. Contact the prison directly. They'll have info on their preferred method of money transfer, because let's be honest, those prison bars ain't exactly Venmo-friendly.
Be Prepared for the Wild West of Transaction Fees
Now, brace yourself. Transferring money to a trust fund can be about as exciting (and expensive) as a visit to the casino. Be warned! Many services charge hefty fees for deposits. Do your research and shop around. Maybe even hit up your incarcerated buddy and see if they have any recommendations (prison gossip network is strong, ya know).
The Many Paths to Plastic Fantastic (or Cash…or Money Orders…)
Alright, onto the fun part: picking your poison (payment method, that is). Here's a rundown of the most common options:
- Online: This is the fast and furious of fund transfers. Boom, money appears! But watch out for those pesky fees.
- Phone: Call a service and dial in your donation (and credit card number). Easy peasy, but again, fees can be brutal.
- Mail a Money Order: The old-fashioned way! Great if you enjoy a trip to the post office and the suspense of waiting for your money to arrive (hopefully before the inmate needs Ramen for the 10th day in a row).
- In-Person Deposit: Some services (think Western Union) allow you to waltz right in and hand over your cash. Just don't forget your bail money...just kidding (mostly).
Final Words of Wisdom (and Encouragement)
There you have it! You're now equipped to be a financial wizard for your incarcerated friend or family member. Remember, every little bit helps. That extra cash could mean the difference between mystery meat surprise and a halfway decent tuna sandwich. So don't delay, send those funds and keep your loved one's spirits (and stomach) from going broke!
