So You Wanna Help Out Your Michigan MIA (Missing In Action)...But Not Really Missing? A Guide to Sending Money to a Prisoner
Let's face it, nobody goes to prison for, like, winning a pie-eating contest (although that would be a hilarious crime). But hey, maybe your friend or family member ended up in the clink in the great state of Michigan. No judgment, we all make mistakes (except for that guy who stole all the spoons from the office break room - you're on your own, buddy). Anyway, they probably need a little help, and you, the shining beacon of generosity, want to send some funds their way. But how? Don't worry, this guide will have you navigating the prison wallet system like a pro (though, let's be honest, there's probably no such thing as a "pro" in the prison wallet system).
Step 1: Forget the Dope on a Rope - We're Going Digital
Forget those old prison movies where dudes are stashing cash in hollowed-out bibles. These days, things are a little more...digital. There are two main ways to send money to your favorite Michigan MIA:
- JPay & GTL: These companies are basically the Amazons of the prison world, offering a whole suite of services, including money transfers. Think of it as a care package, minus the sporks (although, sporks would probably be pretty useful in prison).
- The Michigan Department of Corrections (MDOC): Yes, the state itself has a system for sending money. It's not as flashy as JPay and GTL, but hey, it gets the job done (and maybe they use the extra cash to buy some comfy chairs for the waiting room - one can dream).
Important Note: Always check with the specific prison your friend/family member is in. Every jailhouse operates a little differently, and you don't want your money ending up in some random inmate's account (trust me, "Wrong Nick" won't be happy about that).
Step 2: Cash, Cards, and Carrier Pigeons (Okay, Maybe Not the Last One)
So, how exactly do you shove those virtual bucks into your MIA's account? Here are your options:
- Debit/Credit Card: Plastic is fantastic in this case. Just whip out your card and get to swiping (although, actual swiping might not be involved. Prisons are probably pretty high-tech these days).
- Money Order: For those who prefer a more old-school approach, a good old-fashioned money order is still an option. Just make sure it's made payable to the specific prison and your MIA (and triple-check the name spelling - nobody wants their money going to "Big Bob" instead of "Bob").
Step 3: Patience is a Virtue (Especially When You're Dealing with Bureaucracy)
Don't expect your MIA to be rolling in the dough the second you hit send. There can be a lag time between when you send the money and when it shows up in their account. So, don't panic if they don't start showering you with grateful thank-you notes right away (although, if they do, that might be a red flag...).
Bonus Tip: Sending Care Packages (Besides Socks and Spoons)
While you can't exactly send a box of your MIA's favorite snacks, there might be other ways to brighten their day:
- Money for Phone Calls: Let them chat with loved ones (unless it's that guy who keeps stealing office supplies).
- Tablets: Prisons are offering tablets loaded with books, music, and games (because who doesn't love a good game of Angry Birds while behind bars?).
There you have it! With this guide, you'll be a prison pen pal pro in no time. Now go forth and spread your financial cheer (and maybe a few bad jokes to keep your MIA's spirits up). Remember, laughter is the best medicine (except for, you know, actual medicine).
