Ditch the Cash Register, Embrace the Phone: How to Take Payments Like a 21st-Century Business (Without Looking Like a Tethered Gremlin)
Let's face it, lugging around a clunky cash register is about as glamorous as wearing socks with sandals. In today's world, customers expect convenience, and that means accepting credit card payments on your phone. But fear not, fellow entrepreneur, because this guide is here to turn you from a payments-processing neanderthal into a mobile maestro!
Step 1: Befriend a Payment Processor (They're Not As Scary As They Sound)
Think of a payment processor as your financial wingman. They handle the secure processing of credit card transactions, so you can focus on what you do best: charming customers and raking in the dough (metaphorically, of course). Popular options include Square, Stripe, and PayPal. Do some research, compare features and fees, and choose the one that best suits your business needs.
QuickTip: Read actively, not passively.![]()
Pro Tip: Be wary of free readers – they often come with hidden fees or limitations. Invest in a decent reader that accepts chip cards and contactless payments (think tap-and-go!). You'll thank yourself later (and avoid grumpy customers fumbling with outdated technology).
Step 2: Download the App (It's Like Pokemon Go, But for Money)
Tip: Remember, the small details add value.![]()
Once you've chosen your payment processor, it's time to download their magical app. This is your command center for all things mobile payments. Setting it up is usually a breeze, just follow the prompts and resist the urge to name your business something embarrassing (looking at you, "Bob's Discount Bananas").
Step 3: Get Ready to Play "Swipe Right" (But with Cards, Not Tinder)
Tip: Read mindfully — avoid distractions.![]()
Now comes the fun part: taking payments! When a customer is ready to pay, open the app and enter the amount. Here's where things get interesting:
- For cards with chips: Have your customer insert their card like they're auditioning for a role in the Matrix.
- For the tech-savvy crowd: Offer contactless payments by having them tap their card or phone on your reader (think high-fiving the future!).
- For the old-fashioned folks: If they're still rocking a card with a magnetic stripe, swipe it carefully through the reader (just pretend it's a karaoke microphone and belt out a silent victory song).
Step 4: Don't Be That Guy Who Yells Card Details in Public (Seriously, Don't)
QuickTip: Stop scrolling, read carefully here.![]()
Security is paramount. Never, ever ask customers to shout their card details over a crowded market. Most payment processors offer a virtual terminal option within their app, which allows you to securely enter the card information yourself.
Step 5: Celebrate! (And Send a Receipt, You Professional You)
Once the transaction is complete, the app will notify you and the customer. Don't forget to send a digital receipt to their email – it's the eco-friendly and professional thing to do (and helps avoid any confusion later).
Bonus Tip: Embrace the power of positive reinforcement. Thank your customer for their business, offer a friendly goodbye, and maybe even throw in a cheesy joke (at your own risk!).
So there you have it! You're now officially a mobile payments pro, ready to take your business to the next level. Remember, ditch the outdated and embrace the innovative – your customers and your bank account will thank you for it!