Rhubarb in the Golden State: A Tale of Sun, Shade, and Stubborn Stalks
Ah, California – land of sunshine, surfboards, and...rhubarb? Hold on a sec, isn't rhubarb that stuff that looks like celery on steroids and gets slathered in sugar for delicious punishment of the taste buds? And isn't it also supposed to, you know, enjoy the occasional frostbite? California sunshine and frostbite seem about as likely as finding a billionaire wearing sensible shoes.
So, the question burns brighter than a California wildfire (okay, maybe a controlled burn): can you cultivate this tart treasure in the land of eternal summer? The answer, my friend, is a glorious, sunshine-tinged maybe.
The Great Rhubarb Ron-Deveau: California Dreamin' or Doomin'?
Rhubarb is a cool-season perennial, which basically means it'd rather be vacationing in Alaska than poolside in Malibu. It thrives on chilly nights and a good sprinkling of winter snooze time. California's central valley and coastal regions? Not exactly known forFrosty the Snowman sightings.
Now, don't despair, fellow rhubarb ron-deveau (that's fancy French for "rhubarb enthusiast")! There's still hope. Head north to the cooler coastal regions or mountainous areas where winter throws a half-hearted punch. Here, rhubarb might just surprise you with some decent stalkage (that's a technical term, definitely).
Pro tip: If you're feeling particularly ambitious, some folks have experimented with growing rhubarb as an annual in southern California. Plant it in the fall, harvest in the cooler months, and then...well, let's just say that might be a one-shot deal.
So You Want to Be a California Rhubarb Rebel?
If you're determined to defy the odds and coax rhubarb out of your California soil, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Location, Location, Location: Pick a spot that gets afternoon shade. Rhubarb burns easier than a tourist on the beach forgetting sunscreen.
- Keep it Cool: Mulch around the plant to help retain moisture and keep the roots nice and chilly.
- Water Wisely: Rhubarb likes consistent moisture, but don't drown it.
- Don't Push Your Luck: The stalks are the tastiest part, but be sure to harvest sparingly and let the plant establish itself.
Remember: Even with the best of intentions, California rhubarb might not be the prize-winning crop at the county fair. But hey, if you manage to wrestle some decent stalks out of your sunshine-baked soil, consider yourself a certified California Rhubarb Rebel extraordinaire.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a pie crust and a dream.
