So You Wanna Talk to a Texan Behind Bars? A Totally Not-Serious Guide to Funding Phone Calls
Let's face it, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Your favorite uncle Lou (or maybe not-so-favorite ex-roommate Carl) got themselves a little too friendly with the law down in Texas, and now their phone privileges are about as functional as a chocolate teapot. But fear not! There's a way to get those digital conversations flowin' again, and believe you me, a chat with a loved one (or someone you vaguely remember) can be a real lifesaver (for both of you).
The Two Texas-Sized Options for Funding Calls:
1. The "Friends and Family AdvanceConnect" - You Play, They Talk
This option is like a phone buffet for your incarcerated friend/family member. You pre-pay for calls, and they get to chat it up until the funds run dry. Think of it as a gift certificate, but for gossip and bad jokes instead of massages and scented candles.
Here's the how-to:
- You'll need to register your phone number with the Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) – gotta make sure they know it's you, not some random telemarketer.
- Then, head over to Securus Technologies: whatever that is and set up your online account.
- Warning: This might involve uploading a selfie. Let's just hope your "jailbreak" wasn't a recent attempt at a fresh Instagram profile pic.
- Once you're all signed up, you can add funds to your "AdvanceConnect" account. Now Uncle Lou can call you to his heart's content (or at least until he burns through the cash).
Pros: You control the spending (and maybe get some peace and quiet). Cons: You might get stuck listening to Uncle Lou's woes for hours on end.
**2. The "Securus Debit Account" - Giving Them the Keys to the Phone Kingdom (Kind Of)
This option is like handing your loved one the phone store gift card and hoping they use it wisely (on calls to you, obviously). You deposit money directly into their inmate account, and they can use it for calls, e-messaging (think fancy prison email), or even – wait for it – buying games for their tablet!
How it works:
- Head over to the same folks at [Securus Technologies] (seriously, are they running the whole Texas prison telecom system?).
- Find your inmate by name (hopefully you remember it).
- Add funds to their account. Easy peasy.
Pros: They can call you whenever they want (cue happy dance). Cons: There's no guarantee the money goes solely on calls to you. They might blow it all on virtual racecars (don't ask).
Remember: No matter which option you choose, there might be some fees involved. But hey, a little green to keep the conversation flowing? Priceless (or at least worth a hefty service charge).
So there you have it, folks! Your crash course on funding phone calls in the great state of Texas. Now go forth, and get ready for some quality (or questionable) jailhouse conversation!
