So You Think That Car Has Taken Up Permanent Residence? A Guide to Reporting Long-Term Parkers in LA
Ah, Los Angeles. The land of sunshine, celebrities, and... cars. Lots and lots of cars. Sometimes, those cars decide to take up residence on a particular patch of pavement for longer than welcome. Maybe it's become a dusty monument to someone's terrible parking job, or perhaps it's a mysterious vehicle that sprouts a new flat tire every other week. Whatever the reason, you're tired of it, and you want it gone.
Fear not, fellow Angeleno! This handy guide will equip you with the knowledge to banish the lingering automobile and reclaim your street for, well, actual moving vehicles.
But First, Is it Actually a Long-Termer?
Hold on there, trigger finger. Before you unleash the hounds of parking enforcement, let's establish if this car is a genuine long-term offender or just a visitor overstaying its welcome. Here's a quick reality check:
- Street Cleaning Fury: Does the car have a friendly neighborhood street cleaning permit hanging from the rearview mirror? If so, it might just be patiently waiting its turn to avoid a dreaded ticket.
- The Mysterious Meter Maid: Have you seen the car move recently? Maybe it's just playing a daring game of parking meter roulette, constantly feeding the beast with coins just before its time expires. Respect the hustle, but if it's truly a bothersome eyesore, move on to the next step.
Alright, you've confirmed this car is basically growing roots. Time to take action!
Phoning in the Parking Cavalry: Here's Who to Call
Los Angeles, in its infinite bureaucratic wisdom, offers a few options for reporting a long-term parked car. Here's your breakdown:
- The 24/7 Parking Patrol: For those who like their justice served immediately (or at least sometime this week), dial (818) 374-4823 or (213) 485-4184. These folks are the parking enforcement cavalry, ready to swoop in and assess the situation.
- The 1-800-ABANDON Hotline: Does the car look like it's been there since the invention of the wheel? It might be considered abandoned. In that case, dial the delightfully dramatic 1-800-ABANDON (1-800-222-6366).
Remember: When calling, be prepared with your detective skills! Gather information like the car's location (including the block number and nearest cross street), make, model, and color. The more details, the faster the parking police can crack this case.
Bonus Round: How Not to Deal with a Long-Term Parker
While we all dream of leaving a passive-aggressive note under the windshield wiper, let's avoid escalating things to a "keying" incident (remember that movie "Duel"? Yeah, not a good look). Here's what not to do:
- Leaving "gifts": Unless your "gift" is a parking ticket from a meter maid you somehow befriended, this is a bad idea.
- Parking like a jerk yourself: Two wrongs don't make a right, and a parking war on your street is nobody's idea of fun.
The best course of action? Grab a taco, relax, and let the professionals handle it. Hopefully, with a little help from you and the magic of parking enforcement, that car will be a distant memory soon.
Remember, a happy street is a street with free-flowing traffic (and maybe a taco truck or two).
