You've Heard the Rumors, You've Seen the Memes: It's NYC Benchmarking Time!
Ah, May 1st. A day synonymous with blooming flowers, sunshine (hopefully), and... the dreaded NYC benchmarking report. Look, we all know the feeling. That sinking realization that lurking behind the springtime cheer is a bureaucratic beast demanding our attention. But fear not, fellow New Yorkers! This year, we can slay the benchmarking beast together, with a little humor and a whole lot of "can-do" attitude.
Step 1: Am I Even in This Benchmarking Brawl?
Before we grab our metaphorical boxing gloves, let's check if we're even in the fight. This whole benchmarking brouhaha only applies to buildings over a certain size, so if you're chilling in a cozy studio apartment, you can hightail it out of here. But for our friends managing those towering infernos of glass and steel (or, you know, apartment buildings), check the NYC Covered Buildings List to see if your property is on the hook. Consider it your "am I getting benchmarked?" report card.
Round Two: The Data Dance - You Don't Need Fancy Footwork, But Maybe Some Comfy Shoes
Okay, you're in. Now comes the part that might sound intimidating: gathering your building's energy and water usage data. But don't worry, it's not like you need to be Indiana Jones, unearthing some ancient energy tablet. Reach out to your utility providers (think Con Edison) and they'll be happy to hand over those sweet, sweet numbers. Just be prepared for a potential spreadsheet avalanche.
Pro Tip: Grab a coffee (or your beverage of choice) and settle in for some data wrangling. This might involve some fancy footwork... with your fingers on the keyboard, that is.
The Big Kahuna: Submitting Your Report Through the Magical Portal (AKA Portfolio Manager)
Now that you've got your data wrangled and ready to rumble, it's time to enter it into the magical benchmarking portal known as Portfolio Manager. This is a free tool from the EPA, and yes, it does sound slightly less exciting than "Portal to Another Dimension." But trust us, it gets the job done.
Here's the gist: You create an account, enter your building's info, and then upload your precious data. It's like filling out a form, but way cooler because you're saving the planet (well, a tiny bit). There are even handy tutorials to walk you through it, so you don't have to navigate this bureaucratic jungle alone.
Remember: The deadline to submit your report is May 1st, so don't wait until the pigeons are wearing tiny graduation caps to get started.
Victory Lap and Maybe a Slice of Pizza (Because You Deserve It)
You've done it! You've conquered the NYC benchmarking beast! Now, take a moment to pat yourself on the back (or high five your building manager). You've just contributed to a greener, more sustainable NYC. Celebrate with a victory lap around your building, or maybe just a celebratory slice of pizza. You earned it.
By following these not-so-serious-but-definitely-helpful tips, you can approach NYC benchmarking with a little less stress and a whole lot more humor. Remember, knowledge is power, and with this guide, you've got the knowledge to knock this out of the park. Now go forth and conquer, fellow New Yorker!
