So You Want to Visit Alcatraz... I Mean, the Johnson County Jail? A (Mostly) Lighthearted Guide
Thinking of visiting a friend or family member at the Johnson County Jail? Well, hold on to your sporks, because navigating the system can be a tad confusing. But fear not, intrepid visitor! This guide will be your key (well, maybe not a literal key, those are frowned upon) to a (somewhat) smooth visit.
Step One: Brushing Up on Your CSI
Before you channel your inner MacGyver and attempt a jailbreak (strongly discouraged), let's establish some ground rules. All visits are video visits. That's right, folks, it's a digital reunion! So ditch the casserole (heating it up in the jail microwave is a logistical nightmare) and focus on scheduling your visit.
Step Two: Scheduling Shenanigans
Scheduling can only be done by phone on Mondays from 8 AM to 4 PM at (660) 747-6469. Pro tip: If you're planning a jailhouse rock concert with air guitar, this might not be the week. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 8 AM to 11 AM and 1 PM to 4 PM are your designated video chat windows.
Step Three: Dress to Impress (the Jail Guards, Not Your Inmate)
Since it's a video shindig, ditch the tuxedo (unless it's comfy clothes day at the jail). However, revealing clothing and inappropriate attire are a big no-no. Think pajamas that would make Martha Stewart proud, and you're golden. Also, leave the cell phone at home. You wouldn't want to accidentally use the selfie filter during your visit, would you?
Step Four: The Big Day (Hopefully Not Your Inmate's Release Day)
Arrive 15 minutes early with your valid photo ID. Pro tip #2: If your ID photo resembles your driver's license photo from that wild college weekend, you might want to consider a fresh headshot. Security doesn't appreciate impersonations (unless you're impersonating a well-behaved citizen, that is).
Step Five: Video Visit Bonanza!
Once you're cleared, it's time for the main event! Settle into the video kiosk, and avoid writing on the monitor (think permanent marker meets Etch-a-Sketch disaster). Remember, good manners and appropriate conversation are key. No plotting escapes or discussing that questionable tattoo your inmate got on a dare.
Bonus Round: Because Why Not?
- Sending a care package? Forget shanks and smuggled cell phones. Think snacks and books (approved ones, of course).
- Feeling fancy? You can even set up a virtual video visit if your inmate has a tablet. Just remember, no recording the visit.
There you have it! With a little planning and a dash of good humor, your visit to the Johnson County Jail (or should we say, video chat with your incarcerated friend) will be a success. Now go forth and chat responsibly!
