The Great Texas Train Blockade: A Citizen's Guide to How Long You Might Be Stuck Singin' the Blues
Howdy, partners! Ever been stuck at a Texas railroad crossing, staring down the iron giant blocking your path like a mechanical armadillo with a serious case of wanderlust? You're not alone, sugar. Trains in the Lone Star State have a reputation for holding folks hostage longer than a rodeo clown wrangling a particularly ornery bull. The question is: just how long can this blockade last?
Well, buckle up, buttercup, because this situation is about as clear as a bowl full of chili after a dust storm. Here's the lowdown:
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The Law Done Gone Silent: Texas used to have a law saying trains couldn't block a road for more than 10 minutes. Ten whole minutes! Seems reasonable, right? Like the time it takes to down a breakfast taco and a sweet tea. Unfortunately, that law got put out to pasture faster than a rattler at a Tupperware party. Seems the feds got jealous and said "Nope, that ain't how we roll."
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So Now What? It's the Wild West Out There!: Without a time limit, a train can theoretically block your path for as long as it takes a tumbleweed to blow from El Paso to Texarkana. We're talkin' hours, folks! Enough time to write a country song about your woes, learn to yodel, and maybe even knit yourself a new pair of chaps out of boredom.
But fear not, fellow Texans! There are a few things you can do to survive the Great Texas Train Blockade:
- Embrace the Entertainment: Turn up the radio, crank up some Waylon Jennings, and belt out a tune! A little two-stepping never hurt nobody (except maybe your ankles after a few hours).
- Become a Train Whisperer: Try talking to the train real nice. Maybe offer it a kolache or two. Who knows, it might just take pity on you and chug along on its merry way.
- Channel Your Inner MacGyver: (This one's not recommended, but hey, we've all seen those survival shows, right?) Just remember, trains are heavy and generally not fond of being outsmarted by a toothpick and a roll of duct tape.
The moral of the story? Keep a deck of cards, a good book, and maybe a thermos full of sweet tea in your car. Because in Texas, sometimes the only thing longer than a train is the wait to get around it.
