The Great NYC Covid Case Caper: Numbers on the Run!
Ah, New York City. The city that never sleeps...or maybe these days, never gets tested for that pesky COVID thing. Look, we all know someone who "totally had it that one time but never tested positive." So, when it comes to pinning down an exact number of COVID cases in our beloved Big Apple, things get a little...foggy.
Here Today, Gone Mañana: The Elusive Daily Count
Remember back in the Before Times (circa 2020), when we refreshed Johns Hopkins' dashboard like it held the winning Powerball numbers? Those days are done. New York State, bless their hearts, decided that keeping tabs on every sniffle and cough was a bit much. Maybe they just figured with all the pigeon droppings raining down, who could tell the difference anymore? ♂️
So, what are we supposed to do? Play Covid-Case-Catch on the subway? Not exactly.
The Art of the Guesstimate: A NYC Specialty
Now, New Yorkers are nothing if not resourceful. We can sniff out a good bagel from a block away, and we can definitely suss out a COVID surge with the same panache. Here's your handy guide to deciphering the vibe on the street:
- The Great Toilet Paper Vanishing Act (Redux): If your local bodega resembles a post-apocalyptic wasteland of empty shelves, well, you might wanna mask up. Those folks ain't stocking up for a macaroni and cheese binge.
- The Return of the Zombie Cough: Remember that hacking, lung-rattling cough that seemed to echo through every elevator shaft in 2020? Yeah, if that symphony of phlegm returns, it's probably not a good sign.
- Sidewalk Solos Make a Comeback: Remember when everyone gave each other a wide berth on the sidewalk? If that personal space bubble expands again, invisibility cloak optional, it might be time to bust out the hand sanitizer.
Living with Covid: The New York Way
Look, COVID isn't going anywhere any time soon. But hey, that's New York. We've dealt with roaches the size of house cats, overflowing trash cans, and that weird guy who yells show tunes on the bus. A little virus is just another day in the city that never sleeps (or gets tested).
The bottom line? We may not have an exact number of cases, but we sure know how to dodge a rogue cough and keep the city moving. So, mask up, wash your hands, and maybe avoid that suspicious puddle of mystery goo on the sidewalk. You'll be alright. This is New York, after all. We've got this.
