The Great Los Angeles Empty Home Hunt: Are There More Tumbleweeds or Vacant Condos?
Ah, Los Angeles. The land of dreams, movie stars, and... surprisingly a whole lot of empty homes? Yes, you read that right. In the City of Angels, where a decent taco stand can have a line longer than the Oscars, there seems to be a curious abundance of real estate gathering dust bunnies.
So, how many empty homes are we talking about here? Buckle up, because the numbers are both staggering and slightly hilarious.
The Big, Beautiful Maybe: Unveiling the Vacancy
Here's the thing: pinning down an exact number is trickier than finding decent parking downtown. The American Community Survey (think of it as the national census's cooler, slightly more private cousin) says there are around 93,535 vacant housing units in LA. That's a lot of empty swimming pools and lonely dishwashers.
But hold on to your pool floats, because here's the twist: not all vacancies are created equal. Some are between tenants, some are vacation homes, and others... well, let's just say they might be haunted by the ghosts of overpriced avocado toast.
Enter the Speculative Landlord: Foe of the Renter, Friend of Dust
Then there's the whole issue of speculative landlords. These folks buy up properties, not to live in or rent out at reasonable rates, but to wait for housing prices to rise like a sourdough starter on a hot day. The result? Thousands of units chilling on the sidelines, unavailable to those who actually need a place to lay their head (and maybe their sourdough starter).
The Flip Side: When Empty Doesn't Equal Homeless
Now, before we go full-on Les Miserables with a chorus of "Look Down!" at these empty abodes, it's important to note that the number of vacant homes isn't a direct solution to LA's homelessness crisis. There are complex issues at play, and many homeless people wouldn't be able to afford some of these luxury high-rises gathering tumbleweeds (although, wouldn't a rooftop pool be a sweet amenity for a cardboard box?).
So, What's the Punchline?
The whole empty homes situation in LA is a bit of a comedic head-scratcher. We have a housing shortage, a homelessness crisis, and yet, a surplus of empty abodes. It's like having a fridge overflowing with caviar while simultaneously complaining there's nothing to eat.
Hopefully, with some innovative solutions and a maybe a nudge from Uncle Sam, we can turn these vacant homes into havens for those who need them. Until then, let's raise a glass (of something affordable) to the absurdity of it all, and maybe start a pool (pun intended) on how many empty homes we'll have next year.
