The Great Trump Tower Floor Count: A Mystery More Baffling Than a Trump Haircut
Ah, Trump Tower. The glistening monument to... well, whatever Donald Trump wants it to be that day. But one thing that's always caused head-scratching (amongst other things) is the exact number of floors this architectural enigma boasts. Buckle up, truth-seekers, because we're diving down a rabbit hole that makes Alice in Wonderland look like a documentary.
Officially, It's a 58-Story Wonder
If you ask a boring, conventional source like Wikipedia, they'll tell you Trump Tower is a neat and tidy 58 stories. 58! We can all get behind a nice, round number, right? Wrong. Because in the world of Trump, nothing is as simple as it seems.
But Wait, There's More (Floor)!
According to The Donald himself, the tower actually reaches a dizzying 68 stories. This grander number supposedly takes into account the towering five-story atrium, which in Trump-speak apparently equals ten ordinary floors. Maybe he's using some special Trumpian math we mere mortals can't grasp.
Hold on a Sec, This Doesn't Quite Add Up
Enter the investigative squad from Bloomberg L.P., who, bless their souls, decided to play fact-checkers. They discovered a few, shall we say, inconsistencies in Trump's tall tale. Apparently, Trump Tower's ceiling heights are extra-large compared to your average skyscraper. And conveniently missing? Floors numbered 6 through 13. Surprise, surprise.
So, How High Does This Skyscraper Really Go?
Honestly, at this point, it's anyone's guess. Is it 58 stories? 68 stories? Does it bend the very fabric of spacetime itself? The only thing we know for sure is that the truth about Trump Tower's floor count is probably locked away in a vault, guarded by a small army of lawyers and a single, very confused-looking escalator.
In Conclusion:
Maybe the real answer isn't a number at all. Maybe the number of floors in Trump Tower is a metaphor for the ever-shifting reality of the Trumpian universe. Or maybe it's just a testament to the fact that sometimes, in the world of Donald Trump, even basic facts get a spray tan and a comb-over.
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