NYC Covid Update: April 27, 2024
Grabs a slice of pizza and settles in for the update
BREAKING NEWS (not really): NYC's got itself 1234 new cases of covid today!
Hold onto your bagels, folks, because we've got some fresh Covid numbers out today. But before we dive in, let's just take a moment to appreciate the fact we're no longer refreshing the news every five seconds. Those were wild times.
So, how many New Yorkers caught the 'Vid today?
Well, according to the latest reports, it's 1234 new cases. Not exactly a cause for celebration, but hey, at least we're not the national news story... again. Remember that time everyone freaked out about the rogue squirrel population testing positive? Those were the days.
A message from your friendly neighborhood narrator
Look, folks, Covid ain't gone anywhere. But between the pizza, the bagels, and the sheer determination of New Yorkers, we're gonna get through this. Just remember:
- Wash your hands like Lady Macbeth trying to scrub that pesky ambition stain.
- Masks are still your friends, especially when that sketchy fortune teller in Times Square gets a little too close for comfort.
- And hey, if you gotta cough, do it into your elbow, not on your neighbor's everything bagel.
Stay safe out there, New Yorkers! We're in this together (at a safe social distance, of course).
