Costco Capers: How Many Can You Cram in Your Minivan of Mayhem?
Ah, Costco. The land of jumbo-sized everything, free samples that could feed a small village, and enough toilet paper to last until the apocalypse (or at least the next coupon mailer arrives). But before you stock up on industrial-sized bottles of ketchup and enough protein bars to build a survival fort, there's a burning question every adventurer needs to answer: how many people can you legally (or should we say, morally) bring on your Costco quest?
The Official Line: A Not-So-Thrilling Two
According to Costco, the membership gods themselves, a mere two guests are allowed per cardholder. Now, this might sound like a party foul, but there's a method to their madness. Imagine navigating a sea of overflowing shopping carts with a horde of friends and family in tow. It'd be like a shopping cart demolition derby, with the only prize being the last remaining bag of Kirkland Signature frozen pizza. Not exactly the relaxing bulk-buying experience you crave.
But Wait, There's More (Guests)!
Fear not, fellow Costco enthusiasts! There's always a loophole (or in this case, a tiny human loophole). Children under 18 don't count towards the guest limit. So, if you've got a gaggle of little ones, consider them your Trojan horse into the land of giant gummy bears. Just be prepared to answer the inevitable "Can I have this?" every five seconds. Pro-tip: Pack plenty of snacks to distract the mini-shopping demons.
The Art of the Sneak-In (Not Recommended, But We've All Been There)
Alright, let's talk realpolitik. We've all seen those families with what seems like an entire extended family in tow. Are they rule-breakers? Probably. Do we recommend it? Absolutely not. But hey, we're not here to judge. Just remember, if you choose this path, be discreet. Folding your third cousin into the trunk like a rogue umbrella is a risky move (and slightly unsanitary).
The Costco Crew: Assemble (Strategically)
Here's the truth: the perfect Costco crew can make all the difference. Forget about inviting your chatty coworker who can't decide between six different kinds of mustard. Instead, seek out your Costco dream team:
- The Sample Slayer: This fearless individual tackles the free food frontlines, ensuring everyone gets a taste of the latest gourmet delights (or questionable mystery meat concoctions).
- The Human GPS: This whiz can navigate the ever-shifting maze of pallets and displays like a seasoned explorer. No more wandering aimlessly for the elusive paper towels.
- The Packing Tetris Master: This magician can transform your overflowing cart into a beautiful, stable stack that wouldn't topple over even in a Costco-sized earthquake.
Remember, folks, Costco is a team sport. Choose your companions wisely, pack your patience, and prepare to be amazed by the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Happy shopping!
